tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24123429859030197272024-02-19T04:11:35.296-08:00Striving For Ex-ELLE-enceA Weight Loss JourneyUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger40125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2412342985903019727.post-47397338483745078992017-12-08T15:33:00.001-08:002017-12-08T15:35:59.823-08:00Thanksgiving, The Manchester Christmas Market, and Christmas DecoratingA few Photos......<br />
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Thanksgiving Dinner..... <br />
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Manchester Christmas Market-<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2412342985903019727.post-53036169692814068532017-11-16T12:05:00.000-08:002017-11-16T12:05:11.983-08:00Excuses, Excuses....Otherwise Know as Reason #1, 2, 3, ...ect...Okay, so here it is - almost holiday time again- and I've been doing so well on my slim fast eating plan. Easy and quick.... til the stress sets in.<br />
<br />
So here are a list of the times of year it is and all the lies I tell myself.<br />
January- I'm generally very good this time of year on eating clean.... until I run up on that unopened box of chocolates or Christmas cookies I completely forgot about and didn't get under the tree.<br />
Well, I dont want to waste good money on treats and then have them go to waste- Apparently I'd rather eat them and them go to waist. And hips....... and chin.<br />
So....I usually finish those off about the 2nd week in January- lo and behold- just in time for Paul's Birthday on the 3rd week of January! The only time of the year he wants cake- and by golly, if my hubby wants cake- he's gonna get a Birthday cake!! And it cant be just a plain cake- oh nooooo- he is such a special man he has to have the best I can possibly give him. So I do. Filling, frosting, topping, sprinkles and candles. <br />
<br />
So then, I'm pretty good for about a month. Paul and I dont really "do" Valentines day, so no worries about Chocolate boxes there. I'll just pick up a pack of Chocolate Bourbon biscuits to nibble on here and there....because at the end of the month of February is MY Birthday!! I dont make myself a cake- I BUY one. Whichever flavor my heart desires- plus Paul always takes me out for a lovely dinner at Frankie & Benny's- or Burger King- whichever my heart desires. (is it any wonder I love him so much?)<br />
<br />
After that binge I'm usually good for at least a few weeks. After all, there's nothing much to be celebrated in March, is there? Except- I always bake a huge Cake for all the Birthdays in the office - for EACH and EVERY month of the year!!!!<br />
So after making a big cake, I have to have a slice of it.... umm.... quality control, right? Yes- that's it. Quality Control.<br />
<br />
Then April slides along- and usually Easter or The arrival of Spring. That's something to celebrate, isn't it? And the Father-in-laws birthday- and Mother's Day in the UK. Of course it is- warmer weather- who doesn't want to celebrate with a few treats and a cake for the arrival of spring and Birthdays and Mother's Day in the UK???<br />
So we do.<br />
<br />
And then........ <br />
<br />
May- Beautiful, Glorious May!!!!!! Mothers day in the USA- and I console myself with treats for Mother's Day because I'm so far away from my Kids and my Mom. And I do console myself - quite a LOT.<br />
Then Mid May- I celebrate. Mine and Hubby's Anniversary is slap Bang in the middle of May and we go out for a nice meal and of course- we have dessert. It would be rude not to!!<br />
Then I'm very very good for a couple of weeks because I start berating myself for all the weight I've gained since the wedding- when, BTW- they had to put in bloody gussets in my dress because I had gained so much weight since buying it!! And I thought I looked big as a whale then!!!<br />
<br />
Then June comes along- and another Monthly Birthday Cake- and other than that I am pretty good- because I lose my appetite in warmer weather. I nibble- ad I graze, but I rarely eat a full meal- and I do lose a bit of weight in the warm months of the year.<br />
Same with July and August- I honestly drink most of my calories-(Except for the Birthday Cake I make for my Mother-in-law end of July for her birthday- and she has more self control and discipline than I do when it comes to cake)... but normally I have a sandwich in the evenings after work or maybe a cold pasta salad if I'm actually really hungry. Only if I have a sammich I HAVE to have crisps or chips or it isn't a "nutritional" meal/snack is it?<br />
Rightttttttttt.<br />
<br />
September rolls around- and that signals the beginning of cooler weather and my favorite season of the year- AUTUMN!!!! Apple Spice Cakes, Pots of Chili with melted cheese on top and tortilla chips on the side.... BBQ chicken or ribs or pulled pork sandwiches with hot Oven Fries. The list of Oh so naughty but Oh so delicious food is endless. And I deserve a treat or two(hundred) with all I have to deal with, dont I?<br />
Of course I do.<br />
<br />
October rolls round and its a month long celebration of all things Dark and Magical and spooky. Cupcakes in purple and green and orange and black- All sorts of sweets on Spooky wrappers to celebrate the month of Spooktacular Fun and Revelry.<br />
Wait- Halloween is only one night? Oh pish-posh. Live a little!! We deserve a bit of fun in our lives, right? We deserve a treat now and again...every day.<br />
So, FINALLY October is OVER and DONE with. I'm sick to death of candy and sweets by now- so I'm pretty good the next few weeks again... as I'm planning Thanksgiving Dinner!!!! Turkey and cranberry jelly and stuffing/dressing and mac n cheese and broccoli casserole and mashed potatoes and candied yams and boats and boats of gravy drowning our food and being sopped up with fluffy soft rolls. Real food and about time, too!! I stuff myself- and think I cant possibly eat any of that Spice Cake or Pumpkin or pecan or sweet potato pie after that huge meal...but after dozing in the recliner for a couple hours listening to the TV- I find myself a bit peckish and off I pop to the kitchen to decide what I want for afters...... and not being able to decide on a single thing- decide to have a sample of them all- and do it again before I pop off to bed for the night- so I dont get up an have a midnight or 3am snack, you know.<br />
Riiiiiighttttttttt.......<br />
<br />
Fast Forward a week later- it's December- and the start of the Holiday Season for REAL!! The tree goes up- and the baking starts. Cookies, Cakes, Home-made Candies, Gingerbread men- and the houses to go with it, peppermints and chocolate oranges and nuts and Boxes of Chocolates under the tree- and then Then on Christmas Day- you get Thanksgiving Dinner all over again- only THIS time you get all sorts of CHRISTMAS treats along with it like Cherry Yum Yum and Christmas Cake and Fruit Rolls.No worries tho- it's almost the New Year and THEN- it will be a new Beginning....<br />
But first, there is New Years Eve..... a final night of eating and drinking and Celebrating out with the old and in with then new...... And we make the most of it- only I dont anymore- With the occasional exception of a small intimate gathering with a few close friends, we usually end our year tucked snug in our beds well before Midnight.<br />
<br />
A Perfect End to a Not So Perfect Year... Again.<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2412342985903019727.post-40692851500317948642017-04-16T05:28:00.001-07:002017-04-16T05:28:05.943-07:00All's Well That Ends WellOr so I've been told.<br />
<br />
Myself, I cant say that's completely true.<br />
<br />
See, I had a bad day yesterday- I binged on Burger King after eating no breakfast. Then I ate Cadbury Mini-eggs.... the chocolate kind- until I realised what I was doing and was reaching for another mini bag to open. Ummmm no. Day 6 of 10 of my TA123 eating plan boost- and I blew it. Lost almost 4 lbs in the first 4 days- then that. So I stepped on the scale this morning- and according to it- I am back to Square One.<br />
I cant moan- I did it to myself. Stupid cow that I am with no brain to think and no willpower at all.<br />
<br />
Oh well. This Morning it's back to Day one to start over.<br />
Not giving up. And I went on a walk.....in the rain, no less which I hate. Unless it's summer which it is DEFO NOT here in Manchester. So I was cold and wet on my walk....strangely enough- I walked almost 2 miles and my back didnt throb when I got back. I only stopped a couple of times for a couple of minutes during my walk too when my back DID start bothering me. But it was short rests until it eased and then it was straight back at it again.<br />
Not bad for the first time back at it again in weeks.<br />
<br />
Today I'm back on Plan.... Eating Lean ham & Turkey breast for Roast Dinner today. Broccoli, a boiled egg and a baked spud are on the menu too. Im making a TA legal gravy for it too- altho I'm opting out of the Yorkshire puddings- OMG I cant believe I just said that as that is the very BEST part of the Sunday Roast meal for me.<br />
<br />
Oh well- I played yesterday- I have to pay for it today.<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2412342985903019727.post-65916979249044800582017-04-01T12:53:00.000-07:002017-04-02T03:12:31.474-07:00Pay It ForwardI loved that movie- altho it was unbelievably sad and made me cry in the end.<br />
<br />
I think it's probably one of the most influential movies of this time. After that movie came out- a movement was started. When the world was going crazy with hate and doom and destruction- but somehow in the middle of the chaos, somehow someone found the strength to do a kind deed for someone to make their day better. And in turn, one day that person remembered that good deed and how it made them feel and they wanted to pass that feeling on to someone else- so they did- and then the same thing happened- and pretty soon people were watching these good deeds and wanted to do the same- and so they did.<br />
<br />
Now, you never know when going thru the drive thru or standing in line at the grocery store if someone in front of you has decided to Pay It Forward and pay for your purchase for you. Or put money in your parking meter for you so the meter-maid doesn't issue you a citation. Or maybe be the person who buys a meal for the homeless person on the side of the road holding the sign- or hands the traffic officer a bottle of cool water on a hot summers day. Or maybe it's the guy who pulls over in the pouring rain to help someone repair their car- or offers to give the mom and the kids stranded on the side of the road a ride home- or offer to let them use their mobile phone to call someone to come get them- and then stay with them til their ride arrives- just in case.<br />
<br />
<br />
And these acts are remembered- and in turn, passed on to someone in the future.<br />
Like ripples in an ocean. <br />
<br />
It gives me hope for humanity, after all.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2412342985903019727.post-68073279648325676212017-03-15T09:46:00.002-07:002017-03-15T09:46:32.495-07:00Something a bit different.....<a href="https://www.facebook.com/sunny.malone.vada/videos/10155168497727146/" target="_blank">Something a bit different.....</a><br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2412342985903019727.post-63100900812973458302017-03-08T14:28:00.002-08:002017-03-08T14:28:30.507-08:00Long Time... Well, here we are 7 months later.<br />
<br />
Feast or famine worked really well....until the holidays rolled around. And by holidays I mean from October until February.<br />
<br />
Why so long?... October/Halloween.... November/Thanksgiving.....December/Christmas... January/New Years Day and Hubbys Birthday..... February/Valentines Day and My Birthday.<br />
Five months of Celebrations.<br />
<br />
Well, The weekend after my Birthday I stepped on the scale and it read 249.8.<br />
Holy Crap. I had gained all the weight back that I had lost on the TA123 plan a few months before trying the Feast & Famine Plan. 35 lbs. I swore I would never get back over 250lbs again- and here I was on the brink again. And not far off from that it will fast go back to my heaveist 306 lbs.<br />
<br />
I have one thing to say to that.<br />
HELL TO DA NO.<br />
Neither number is acceptable to me.<br />
<br />
I was talking to two of my GFs who go to the gym. I'm giving serious thought to rejoining a gym. And as soon as the weather gets warmer I'm going to start walking home a few days a week. 1.8 miles one way. I wont walk IN- I hate getting all sweaty and stinky before even stepping foot into the office- but walking home will be better because I can walk in, drop the clothes and step straight into the shower.<br />
I've also decided I'm taking up my teen hobby again. Hiking. But before I hike- I gotta walk... a LOT. You cant do 5 mile hikes if it takes everything you've got to walk a block and a half to buy your lunch. And my ultimate goal is to walk the Sandstone Trail from one end to the other. First in smaller bits- and my 5 year goal is to walk the entirety of it at a go. 134 miles. It will take me two weeks I reckon.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I also reordered my booklet from the TA123 plan. I'm eating from memory of the bit's and pieces I remember from it for the past week... On Saturday it was Day 4 and I had lost 5.8 lbs. That's a good loss on the plan. You should be able to lost up to 10 lbs on the Boost- and I fully expect to lose that by Day 10. I'm weighing on Wednesday Mornings and Saturday Morning. I was weighing only on Saturdays, but I think if I weigh midway thru the week, if the numbers arent moving- or worse, going UP- I can adjust so each week I have a loss- even if it's a small loss. It's still a loss and the numbers are going in the right direction. as in DOWN.<br />
<br />
So there you have it. I'm going to post every Wednesday and Saturday too- it may not be a long post- but it will give my results and thoughts for the day....or week.<br />
<br />
I have faith that this time it will stick. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2412342985903019727.post-44588967499260490742016-07-17T04:50:00.001-07:002016-07-17T04:50:18.248-07:00Fast & Feast Eating Plan UpdateThe new eating plan I told you about a couple weeks or so ago...... <b>Fast & Feast Eating Plan</b>.<br />
<br />
It isn't a diet really...it's an eating plan. There are very few rules. You Fast alternate days and are <i>allowed</i>
500 calories. On your Feast Days you eat whatever you want- trying to
stay within a 2000 calorie limit. On my first week on it- I truly
FASTED on the fast days. I'm one of those people who would rather not
eat anything than have a little bit of something. If I ever eat anything
I'm starving for the rest of the day, so I knew that eating a salad or
sammich just wouldn't work for me on fasting days. So I stuck with just
a cup of coffee at the three meal times, and water in between.<br />
<br />
I
lost 1 lb the first week. That was fine. I knew I wouldn't lose a great
amount because I had trouble getting my 2 liters of water down on my
fasting days. Water does NOT taste nice after drinking a cup of coffee.
And if I don't get two liters of water down a day, the scale doesn't
budge.<br />
<br />
Anyway.....so the second week I switched things
up a bit..... I fasted on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I Feasted on
Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday and had a One Meal Half Fast on Sunday
with the meal staying between 700-800 calories. Saturday is the only day
I truly allowed myself to <b>Feast</b> and have a treat of a few Fig
Newtons with my evening coffee. The other two feast days I cooked and
ate my usual healthy food options. My "treat" those days were having a
cup of coffee with a spoonful of sugar in it as dessert. Everything
tasted so much better on my feast days after fasting the day before.
It's like my taste buds were reborn!!<br />
<br />
And the second
week I lost 1.4 pounds. Which is also fine. I didn't put this weight on
overnight, so it won't come off overnight either. And if I continue to
lose at this rate I will still lose over 50 lbs in a year. And I'm happy
with that.<br />
<br />
I'm hoping to wedge a bit more exercise
into my routine as I have joined the ranks of the PokemonGo fanatics.
The only catch is I have to go walking when the sun is low in the sky
because of the glare on my phone screen. That's fine with me, too. I'd
much rather walk later in the day so I can unwind and relax from the
stress of the day at the office. We will see if it impacts my weight
loss at all in the next week.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2412342985903019727.post-77105118535931090232016-07-02T02:52:00.000-07:002016-07-02T02:57:05.097-07:00Judgement Day!!!Well, Judgement Day came a week early.<br />
I've been keeping a chart of my weight loss every week for the past 19 weeks. Some weeks I did well, some- I tanked. Well, Since I'm starting the new diet- see latest post yesterday-I decided to go ahead and measure a week early. I had set it up for measuring every 20 weeks. Yes, I have short term and long term and even LONGER Term goals.<br />
<br />
So this is week 19 of the 60 weeks I gave myself to lose this weight.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwkU2tcwM0EuQrJKJMJD0j-w8sTLxP3KUMPKB5RLtgJsx4gosUrUCfNZpQCSr1v2eOFkjkE6z9O9hSOOJCfQ2IFVBIbt70XJr4Tn0at4ZbBbuaqrD62_cNXpS6PmpPKJQOJq9fu1MkiA4/s1600/Chart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="187" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwkU2tcwM0EuQrJKJMJD0j-w8sTLxP3KUMPKB5RLtgJsx4gosUrUCfNZpQCSr1v2eOFkjkE6z9O9hSOOJCfQ2IFVBIbt70XJr4Tn0at4ZbBbuaqrD62_cNXpS6PmpPKJQOJq9fu1MkiA4/s320/Chart.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
This is my weight and measure chart....as you can see it has LOTS of ups and downs on it. My Report Card. I most certainly am NOT an honor roll student by any stretch of the imagination.<br />
<br />
But I want you to look at the measurement part. That's 4 months work. I measured myself for the first time on the last day of February 2016. The weekend after my 56th Birthday. <br />
<br />
I started out at my heaviest of 286 lbs.(Not in Feb- this has been a several year journey.) Well, that was the highest weight I saw on the scale. I know for a fact I had lost about 20 lbs and a couple of pant sizes at that point already so my heaviest weight was just over 300 lbs. Scary stuff.<br />
<br />
So in the last four months I have lost:<br />
<h4>
<span class="_5yl5">1 inch in neck </span></h4>
<h4>
<span class="_5yl5">Arms remain the same( booooo!!!!!) :(</span></h4>
<h4>
<span class="_5yl5">6 inches in waist!!!! </span></h4>
<h4>
<span class="_5yl5">3 inches in hips </span></h4>
<h4>
<span class="_5yl5">1.5 inches in thighs </span></h4>
<h4>
<span class="_5yl5">.5 inch in calves</span></h4>
<br />
So everything I've been doing is working- even if I dont see the changes in my body myself.<br />
I still see a fat girl in the mirror.....but the day WILL come when I see myself as I want to.<br />
<br />
I'll continue to weigh every Saturday Morning and record the results.<br />
And I will be measuring on the first Saturday of every month now.<br />
Let's see if we can get this on a Fast(er) Track!!!<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2412342985903019727.post-13224608139615906942016-07-01T12:09:00.002-07:002016-07-02T16:36:44.789-07:00Feast Or Famine.My God looking back over this blog I have tried a boatload of diets and strategies.<br />
<br />
Well, one that worked for me years ago is one I'm going to try again.<br />
The Feast & Famine.<br />
So I've been doing a bit of research the past few days on the human body- and have seen a lot of studies think that the Feast or Famine way of eating is how the body best works from an evolutionary<br />
standpoint.<br />
<br />
Well, It worked for me once before when I didn't actually know why it might- so here we go again.<br />
<br />
I deliberately decided to start on July 1st(today) and I wanted to start on a Famine day. Now that means I need to stay under 500 calories on a famine day- but I personally do better with an all or nothing mentality when it comes to food.<br />
So I am having as many as three cups of coffee a day. And all the water I need. So far I have had two cups of coffee and two bottles of water. I'm being careful to stay hydrated and my kidneys and bladder function efficiently, regardless of what day it is.<br />
<br />
I've found that I can do without food all day with no problems- I might get an occasional twinge of hunger if I smell something really nice, but I can deal with that. What I can't deal with is having just a taste of something really nice that's full of calories in one shape or form and then not being able to have a full serving. Or having a platter of bland tasteless food that I wouldn't let my pet eat.<br />
<br />
I've been without food all day...well, actually since 8PM last night and I really thought by lunch I would be all kinds of crabby and head-achy. But I wasn't. I had my coffee and took my meds with my water and went on about work.....even when office-mate #1Tom waved Chocolate under my nose offering me a bon-bon before he knew I was fasting today. Nor was I the least bit bothered by office-mate #2 Wendy when she pulled out her pasta salad for her lunch.<br />
<br />
I thought oh my gosh- by suppertime I will be ravenous, especially when I'm making Broiled Pork steaks and roasties for hubby's supper....but again....nope.<br />
<br />
Now I admit, I did have a bit of a tummy growl when one of the girls on Corrie was standing there with a package of Fig Rolls with her brew....but I got over it.<br />
and here it is almost bedtime and guess what? I lived thru the day with not a morsel going in my mouth. That's 1500 cals saved.<br />
Tomorrow, I will get up have a slice of toast and an egg. Then when hubby gets up around noon we will run into town and do errands and have a bite out somewhere. I'll eat normally- whatever I want but not overdoing it of course, then home and a very light supper. Maybe a sammich or a couple pieces of fruit.<br />
<br />
Then Sunday will be a famine day again. That's going to be the really tough day for me. The day I usually do a nice Sunday dinner with meat and potatoes and gravy and rolls. But it will be okay.<br />
<br />
I weighed this morning and I will see how much I lose at the end of the month.<br />
<br />
Stay Tuned.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2412342985903019727.post-32486521312913504772016-05-30T10:29:00.001-07:002016-05-30T10:29:15.026-07:00Food Orgy....Okay so today's post is going to be a bit of a rant. I dont want to be the food police here but....<br />
<br />
I go to all the trouble of cooking healthily, weighing out all the food into maximum serving sizes for me and husband...we eat- and then when he's finished with his meal he goes into the kitchen to put his plate away and grabs either two slices of bread and cheese for a nice Cheese sammich, or he grabs three slices of bread for a bread sammich. Or he grabs two individual bags of crisps an hour after supper is over....Or an entire bag of non-individual sized crisps. <br />
<br />
Why do I go to all that trouble if he is just going to add 600-800 calories MORE to the meal I just carefully measured out? <br />
<br />
It's frustrating for me, and I see him eating the nice tasty things I'm trying to avoid and it just makes me crave them.And I am the first one to admit I just have absolutely no self control when it comes to tasty foods. Especially carbs.<br />
<br />
And then I get craving food watching him eat the Naughtys and I think to myself, oh, a little bit wont do that much damage...and so I get a little bit and then somehow I end up 800 calories over my daily limit- After being so careful the rest of the day.<br />
<br />
It's driving me insane. But why should what he decides to do affect me and my journey. Because I love him and I want him to live a long time. I dont want to live past another loved ones life- especially my mate who I love more than my own life. I'm trying, but the little sneaks here and there add up too.<br />
<br />
I need to put on blinders to what is going on around me....but for me- it's like a sex addict being put in the middle of a 12 day Orgy and expecting not to succumb to temptation.... The sight of it- the smells- the sounds.... It's torture.<br />
Food torture.<br />
<br />
Just saying......Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2412342985903019727.post-70158545039146516172016-05-28T11:53:00.001-07:002016-05-28T11:53:19.590-07:00Moving Right Along......Okay, so it's been a while. <br />
<br />
I'm still working towards my weight loss goals.<br />
<br />
I had a long few months of problems....Knee injuries, a tumble down stairs, stomach issues and a constant headache for months. I've had tests and more tests and more tests and hopefully most of the issues have been settled in one way or another.<br />
<br />
So all thru this I've still been eating thoughtfully....not totally healthfully, mind you, but mindful of how often I have treaty type things and how often I eat healthy food. Trying mostly to follow the 80/20 Plan. It's kept me maintaining my weight, mostly, but not so much helping me along my journey to weight LOSS.<br />
<br />
Hubby and I have been on holiday for the past 8 days and have two more days off too, so I've been able to both get back in the swing of cooking and eating healthily and at the same time having a treat now and again....and when we come off holiday Tuesday morning it will be back to a stricter regime.<br />
<br />
I've been doing my workouts in front of the TV while hubby does his recording and live-streams for his YouTube and Twitch channels, and today- when I reached the 44 second mark on my plank....one second off from my goal..... My elbows just wouldn't let me go any further. I realized then I needed a bit more softness to go any further in my workouts....some of which require elbow and knee work and on a hardwood floor that just won't be happening.<br />
So I went online, did some research and asked hubby to order me a 15mm thickness yoga mat on his Amazon Prime account so I can have it tomorrow. No fuss, no muss.<br />
<br />
I'm also going to be eating salads from our local cafe near work....One, I get a workout ie walk albeit a short one- and two I'll be eating healthily and not be tempted by all the yummy things at the supermarket... ie the Krispy Kreme display box at the entrance AND exit of it. Damn them all.<br />
<br />Especially when this week they're coming out with a Nutella glazed one. Again....damn them.<br />
<br />
Krispy Kremes are my absolute downfall. I can sit and eat a dozen....or two. That started when I was expecting my firstborn son. My ex would disappear all weekend and my neighbor would come over and keep me company while he was gone. First thing on Friday evenings we would get in her car and go to the donuts shop and buy a dozen plain glazed....a dozen blueberry filled, lemon filled and custard filled... and another dozen bear claws, cinnamon buns and Cinnamon twister sticks.<br />
<br />
We'd get all the gubbins for burgers and hotdogs and we would swim in our pool and shoot pool and watch movies all weekend when it was rainy out.<br />
She made the loveliest hot dogs too- okay, I'm stopping that.<br />
<br />
Anyway, so yes- We're back on the wagon again and it wont be so long that I post here next time.<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2412342985903019727.post-49839522581095669962016-01-31T09:10:00.000-08:002016-01-31T09:10:29.789-08:00Transformations.....<h3 class="post-title entry-title">
</h3>
<div class="post-header">
</div>
<br />
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<br />
Well, Hello everyone!!!<br />
<br />
Last weekend I wrote a huge big post about what was about to happen this
weekend and just as I was about to hit save and publish, my laptop
crashed and I lost it all. I was NOT a happy camper to say the least- so
I'm going to attempt to re-create it in a more condensed<i> (maybe)</i> version.<br />
<br />
So for the past 7 months, when I hit my last weight loss goal, I've been working on THIS weekend.<br />
I promised myself on the last weekend of January I was going to
transform myself. I was going to get to my NEXT weight-loss goal (still
3.5 lbs away from that but the show must go on regardless- a promise is a
promise, am I right???!!), I was going to change my hairstyle, I was
going to have a whole new wardrobe, and I was going to start wearing
makeup again. I modeled a bit in my teens but when I got married and
started having babies, the make-up was the first thing to go when time
and money started getting tight. But no more. Daily from now on.<br />
<br />
As I was saying....Over the past 7 months I've been buying a new article
of clothing-(mostly tops because I can wear them with my basics of
trousers and capri pants and skirts). I buy an average of one new piece
every couple of weeks. I deserve it. I'm buying the things in the size I
am now- but I have a sewing machine and I'm making sure it's clothing
that I can easily alter to fit me as I continue to lose more weight.<br />
For the past 10 years I've worn mostly black. I lost my daddy and just
as I was coming out of mourning clothes for him a couple of years later,
I lost my son, Clay. I was back in the mourning colors again and there I
have been until just recently. My new clothes have a pop of color to
them.... I'm still buying a few things in black-(Never goes out of style
and looks so elegant)- and in black and white prints, but I have quite a
bit of bright reds and blues now too. Tans and rusts are in there and I
also bought one top that is a cream with pale blue and lavender floral
print- sort of orchid or lily ish...... I also have a couple of
pinks...- and I FINALLY- after months of searching- found a beautiful
classic sleeveless chiffon cream pussycat bow blouse that I LOVE!!!!!<br />
I also bought two new pairs of slacks for work and two blazers....one
the classic length- and one a longer more "cover my derriere" completely
length one that will be perfect for wearing with leggings and such.<br />
I have a Military brass button style dress that I will wear as a tunic
top instead(it's too sort for a dress for my taste and style)...... and I
have two classic LBDs., only one is a LBD with a white panel in the
front. Love them both!!! And for those special nights out on the town I
have a Red BodyCon dress with red trim that is certainly SMOKING HOT.<br />
<br />
But enough about the clothes.<br />
<br />
I've decided to go into business of Cosmetics. I'm now a presenter for the <i><b>Younique</b></i>
line of cosmetics. I went thru my makeup last weekend and got rid of
the outdated stuff and went back to a couple of basics with my new
presenters kit. The kit now holds samples of all the products- and this
is what my personal make-up case looks like now..... it used to be two
cases like this FULL....<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNU5rBTzxB3wUqv_COspSvHECVrGY8FXMe8-MLaXSksOehtX0E7v7k9oZaq7UN7s5O0k5SzvMhbQCDGFZ43qk76C0EMEBqCgKfzHLjzFKVds8IulKrSaQlkk66L6u-j0Q6mDcTBQg0gZ_j/s1600/makeup+case+1.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="187" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNU5rBTzxB3wUqv_COspSvHECVrGY8FXMe8-MLaXSksOehtX0E7v7k9oZaq7UN7s5O0k5SzvMhbQCDGFZ43qk76C0EMEBqCgKfzHLjzFKVds8IulKrSaQlkk66L6u-j0Q6mDcTBQg0gZ_j/s320/makeup+case+1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />Presenters Kit......<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5CURO_cDlRp85-7XUwMcOZPb4_r01VoSyIRbhisrgtoLm1PSGu-5x0LLwU00k8e9_vQg6CFjnOY_Ot-P9NZvwvmIBX8EZbTG57TvH6cpS1709ebukgvxtYlH0Y6eRBWoNTD1mFU6xcYwb/s1600/Younique.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="187" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5CURO_cDlRp85-7XUwMcOZPb4_r01VoSyIRbhisrgtoLm1PSGu-5x0LLwU00k8e9_vQg6CFjnOY_Ot-P9NZvwvmIBX8EZbTG57TvH6cpS1709ebukgvxtYlH0Y6eRBWoNTD1mFU6xcYwb/s320/Younique.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
If you are interested in learning more, send me a message and I'll get back with you.<br />
<br />
Anyway, so usually I look like this......<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiRyONDV9xhRgD5PiAz2z137m0TC40VGOvgAA_hyQguJa8XLCYLJ4aUxnculGCYgp5vviGm9_UJh6h4tvI7NO6cCmNWey_-X69kPeRrokZfuH1u_knPXhrfl8OnHxhRjiSK0v7hXNqF5Ev/s1600/Sunny+before2.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiRyONDV9xhRgD5PiAz2z137m0TC40VGOvgAA_hyQguJa8XLCYLJ4aUxnculGCYgp5vviGm9_UJh6h4tvI7NO6cCmNWey_-X69kPeRrokZfuH1u_knPXhrfl8OnHxhRjiSK0v7hXNqF5Ev/s320/Sunny+before2.jpg" width="187" /></a></div>
That's me in the office.<br />
<br />
And yesterday I went to my salon looking like this......<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPEZ3DdI1ExU9xnHkVunxkLkl-osrEobWo6uDCGZG8PH65pN8bvcWelE-XTgY9ieMNXaoUZnB5_eSrSAOIoRmxhBE_shTrGK_eYdWU_SE4mXWT_526EGSZcGJ7RKJBQqY0cgCQb6yQBT7f/s1600/sunny+before.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPEZ3DdI1ExU9xnHkVunxkLkl-osrEobWo6uDCGZG8PH65pN8bvcWelE-XTgY9ieMNXaoUZnB5_eSrSAOIoRmxhBE_shTrGK_eYdWU_SE4mXWT_526EGSZcGJ7RKJBQqY0cgCQb6yQBT7f/s320/sunny+before.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
Oh, the damage I did to my skin lying in the sun when I was a teen!!!!
My neck and chest caught the worst of it...I fell asleep sunbathing one
day while my parents were at my grandparents house for the day and when I
woke up it was almost dark and I was burnt. And when I say burnt- I
mean I had blisters...that bled. Sun Poisoning. I'm lucky I don't have
scars from that lapse of good sense, but it's bad enough as it is and no
amount of skin care or creams and lotions will help it now. Lesson
Learned.<br />
This is the hairstyle I was going for.....<br />
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<br />
<br />
<br />
...but after trimming off all the damaged hair, my fringe(bangs) wasn't
nearly long enough- and actually were way too short for my liking as
you will see, but it's okay- she cut it into the style I wanted anyway
and after the perm wave softens a couple of weeks and my hair grows out
a couple of months it will be more like what I envisioned. and I quite
liked the result anyway.....<br />
<br />
Very Hollywood......<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigRiWpDCVRweZ9ioalYo-63ZENbIjwMv3aURiXNZVqQAhJJfxnBSWuuKppQB2YsdUgvH1MpJqyhuJoawZQ81u9h6PmL1zC3w4kuRXz6cOVzIr-0dRDikdkq7JiEvbC3za0clA9fa2jeIiw/s1600/Sunny+Not+quite+yet.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigRiWpDCVRweZ9ioalYo-63ZENbIjwMv3aURiXNZVqQAhJJfxnBSWuuKppQB2YsdUgvH1MpJqyhuJoawZQ81u9h6PmL1zC3w4kuRXz6cOVzIr-0dRDikdkq7JiEvbC3za0clA9fa2jeIiw/s320/Sunny+Not+quite+yet.jpg" width="187" /></a></div>
<br />
See? Bangs not nearly long enough for the proper quiff, but it will get there....<br />
<br />
Now after a while the bangs really started bugging me- so I grabbed my
Alice Band and pulled them back- smoothed a bit of the curl down, put on
my full makeup- and this is the result!!!<br />
<br />
I LOVE IT!<br />
<br />
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<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
All I need now is a wiggle dress or two- but that will be my reward for
my NEXT weight loss goal!!! And I'm thinking I'm getting a jump start on
that too since I'm doing the <i><b>Sugar-Free February Challenge</b></i>...shortest
month of the year, yes...but it's also Valentines Day AND my birthday
month, too!!! So maybe instead of chocolates maybe I'll get flowers this
year??????? <br />
<br />
So what do you think? It's all smoke and mirrors anyway. I'm still me under all that change.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2412342985903019727.post-47913234225604741162016-01-03T11:44:00.001-08:002016-01-03T11:44:35.035-08:00Welcome to 2016Yikes..... Has it really been that long since I posted on here? Mid May-2015??????<br />
<br />
Well, I may not have posted but I've been plugging away at it, anyway. Until Halloween, that is. Then it all seemed to go out the window. Bad weather hit- Halloween with all the goodies- I was a hot mess of eating rubbish. All the way thru December. Then, I weighed the day after Christmas- dreading to look at the numbers- and was seriously confused when I found out I had only gained a lb.<br />
<br />
Yes- ONE SINGLE POUND.<br />
<br />
That was a bit worrying considering the amount of sweets and carbs I had consumed over the past couple of months, but then I thought- Why look a gift horse in the mouth? Take it and RUN with it into the new year- and what's more- let's get a head start on those New Year Resolutions everyone is so gung-ho about making.<br />
I've never been a big fan of making them- the best I can do and hope to keep is to say I will try to do better and be better than I was the previous year. And that's worked out so far for me.<br />
<br />
I've went back to working with my FitBit and logging all my food and water and exercise and such. I still am in love with that device.<br />
Well, anyway- to finish up the story- I weighed yesterday morning- a week after my last weigh-in, and according to the scales- after taking care to log and be more aware of what I ate- I have lost 7.5 lbs.<br />
<br />
I'll take it. <br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2412342985903019727.post-70304482876821090902015-05-03T09:39:00.001-07:002015-05-03T09:39:44.969-07:00Test Results In- If I were a Horse, They'd Shoot Me.Well, it's been a while since I posted, but there's been a perfectly good reason.<br />
<br />
I've been a bit ill. I've been in the hospital and then in the doctors for lots and lots and LOTS of tests.<br />
<br />
I went for the final results of all the tests last Monday- and this is what the outcome is.<br />
<br />
I'm in post menopause. My blood pressure is sky high. I'm depressed. I'm exhausted. I'm over weight. I'm slightly asthmatic. And I'm one point away from being a diabetic.<br />
<br />
If I were a horse they would take me out back and shoot me. <br />
<br />
What are we doing about it?<br />
<br />
1) The doctor put me on an inhaler and is referring me to a sleep clinic for the asthma and sleep problems.<br />
<br />
2)She also put me on HRT with my approval for the depression, and stress and which are both- along with the breathing problems caused in part by the menopause.<br />
<br />
3) She's referred me to a Blood Pressure clinic where I have to go have my blood pressure checked on a regular basis.<br />
<br />
4) She's strongly suggested going on a diet and exercise program and sticking to it until my excess weight is gone and my blood sugar numbers return to closer to normal. She said at one point away from the Diabetic Line I may as well act like I am already there- BUT I <b>can</b> make it better by following her recommendations.<br />
<br />
Over the past week, I've started on the HRT tablets and am seeing a tiny bit of difference in my sleep and my mood swings. I was to the point I was crying all the time. I'm not even joking- I would be on top of the world one second and the next- anything made me cry- just burst into tears for no reason at all.....well, I obviously thought there was a reason, but it was anything from the advert on TV was sad, to Paul said I looked nice, to the Guinea pig must feel lonely, to it's started raining again. I even cried once because the toilet roll needed changing. I'm not joking an iota.<br />
<br />
I have never been this moody and upset all the time in my life. With Two exceptions....the first few months after my daddy passed away- and the same with my son. When I think about them I still get terribly upset like that- but there's a difference between being upset over missing/losing your loved ones and being upset that badly over the toilet roll needing changing.<br />
The doctor asked me why I hadn't asked about HRT sooner as it could have alleviated a lot of these symptoms much sooner for me. (Apparently, I have been going thru pre/peri Menopause for about the past 8 or 9 years.)<br />
I explained that from the studies I had read on HRT women with a history of cancers in their family have a greater chance of getting it if they are on HRT. And they way my luck runs, I didn't think it was worth the risk with the history of cancers in my family.<br />
<br />
Why am I open to the option now? Quite simply- Quality of Life. <br />
I'm at my wits end being so emotional all the time. I'm faking being happy more than I spent actually being happy. And I've reached a point I'm thinking- I don't care anymore- I'd rather take the HRT with the small chance of getting cancer somewhere down the line in a few years and have these symptoms alleviated and be able to be happy again the rest of my life than to feel the kind of depression and misery I was feeling without it.<br />
<br />
I researched diets and eating plans and came to the conclusion that the Clean Food Eating Plan was best for my weight loss/ high blood pressure/ diabetes issues. I allow myself one small glass of diet soda and one small cup of coffee a day...(non dairy creamer only for the coffee). The rest of the time it's at LEAST 2 litres of water a day.<br />
<br />
I have to choose my clean foods carefully because of the GI content- but I can have the high GI foods occasionally.<br />
<br />
I can have treat meals where I have anything I like occasionally...but there is the key word- OCCASIONALLY.<br />
<br />
I can also eat out- as I learned this weekend.<br />
We went out to town and hubby asked where I wanted to eat lunch. I said SUBWAY since I knew I could get a Clean salad there. But when we arrived it was packed OUT. So across the road was The Chinese Buffet. I was skeptical(hahaha) of eating there as I was sure they wouldn't have more than a couple of foods there I could eat- even on their salad bar- but lo and behold I managed to have a LOVELY CLEAN lunch!!!<br />
I had Tuna, Lettuce, olives, beetroot and boiled eggs.. It was lovely!!! My usual fare there is Chicken Nuggets, Salt n Pepper chips(my fav), onion rings and sweet n sour chicken ...maybe even some naan bread.<br />
<br />
I've stopped eating anything sweet except fruit. No added sugar to anything. I have given up chocolate full stop- except for the VERY special occasion. The first three days, the withdrawal were absolute HELL. But the past two days hubby has turned to me and offered me a tiny little chocolate covered cookie and I had no desire for it. Not even tempted in the least.<br />
<br />
And I've been walking....Up and down the stairs at work when the weather is bad, when it's nice I've walked to the doctors office for my blood pressure check and for my meds at the pharmacy next door to it (on my lunch hour) . Hubby and I had a nice long walk around town on Saturday too. Sunday I'm doing my exercise video or yoga.(Pretty much a day of rest but I'm still doing SOMETHING for exercise.)<br />
<br />
Since Monday when I found out all the test results and starting on the Clean Food Eating plan, I've lost a grand total of....6 pounds.<br />
<br />
I know that's mostly my body sloughing off the excess fluids, but it's headed in the right direction.<br />
<br />
So now you know...The Rest Of The Story. (Trademark *Paul Harvey)<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2412342985903019727.post-91547713469095325552015-04-02T03:32:00.004-07:002015-04-02T04:39:58.417-07:00Transformation- Inspiration- Dedication- Realization.<div style="border-bottom: solid #4F81BD 1.0pt; border: none; mso-border-bottom-themecolor: accent1; mso-element: para-border-div; padding: 0cm 0cm 4.0pt 0cm;">
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Sans Unicode","sans-serif";">I originally interviewed Sarah for my main blog- but I wanted to publish her story here as well. She is such an inspiration to us all.....Hers is a story or not only a weight transformation, but a life transformationin so many ways. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Sans Unicode","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Sans Unicode","sans-serif";">Read her story and be inspired by her....</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Sans Unicode","sans-serif";"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Sans Unicode","sans-serif";"> </span> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Sans Unicode","sans-serif";"> Transformation- Inspiration- Dedication- Realization.</span><br />
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<br /></div>
</div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Sans Unicode","sans-serif";">*Interview with Sarah
Jordan</span>*</div>
</div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Sans","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">In
my journeys, I have met many interesting people from all walks of life.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Sans","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This
is an interview with one of those persons - one who not only dreamt a dream-
but made if come TRUE with nothing short of dedication, bravery and determination.</span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Sans","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This
is Her Story……</span></i></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNwYbYgCSxItwEuwyTjT_gZ0Ukh6HKWrSKZrwFPZp4HpQMxaca7vP2XeT-OzRDl0mEzQlcNvaaXVdpxgKGD_t6QQQyXVFDbfdzuZpKWVCpqfxZ8wrwRW6doBevPl8kz9brwQXai2Otn-lp/s1600/recent+photo-+Main+shot.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNwYbYgCSxItwEuwyTjT_gZ0Ukh6HKWrSKZrwFPZp4HpQMxaca7vP2XeT-OzRDl0mEzQlcNvaaXVdpxgKGD_t6QQQyXVFDbfdzuZpKWVCpqfxZ8wrwRW6doBevPl8kz9brwQXai2Otn-lp/s1600/recent+photo-+Main+shot.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Sans","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-no-proof: yes;"><br /></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Sans","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span><span style="color: #999999;"><span style="font-family: "Lucida Sans","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Hi Sarah. Can
you tell us a bit about yourself in your own words?</b></span></span>
</div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Thank you so much for such a kind statement!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I’m Sarah and I’m a Transgender Woman in South
Carolina! I have always felt my gender at birth doesn’t fit the gender I feel I
am. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I was about four years old when I first introduced
myself as Sarah! When I heard my name I felt strong, beautiful and alive! I
knew that was my true name! That name fit me more than any other name I was
called. Since then I’ve known I am different than others. I learned to hide how
I felt and built a shell around me that I lived in until I was ready to come
out! </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I have been transitioning from male to female since
2009 and on hormone therapy since 2011. I first came out to a friend and
co-worker whom I felt comfortable just being myself with. I confided in her a
secret I had kept inside for my entire life and she was comforting, supportive
and understanding. She was the only person at that time to ever know the real
me! She encouraged me to open up more and peel away the layers of insecurity
and fear built up over a lifetime of hiding, until I was finally true to who I
am.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Accepting to live as the person I am and
not the shell of a person I created has been extremely difficult. I face
discrimination, prejudice and judgement every day! I have lost lifelong friends
and even some family. I have also met some inspiring people whom have given me
strength and hope. Life is hard and having people who love you can carry you
through the worst of it. I am fortunate to have lots of love in my life from my
parents, boyfriend and a new family of friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #c00000; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"> </span></b></div>
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<span style="color: #999999;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">How old were you when you decided to begin your transition? How
old are you now? OOPs- sorry about that- you should NEVER ask a woman two things…
her weight and her age- so you can ignore that last question if you like.</span></b></span>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">*I don’t mind revealing my age, lol. I was 32 when I
came out and slowly began living as female full time. I went through the
recommended and psychological therapy and lived for 2 years as my preferred
gender before I began Hormone Replacement Therapy. I have been on HRT just a
little over 4 years. My whole life I’ve struggled to be myself and after a long
time I’ve finally accepted my true self. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #999999;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I understand you work in a pretty much male dominated job. How
has your transition affected your work-life?</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">* Working in Law Enforcement/Security is more
challenging than I ever considered, working in such a male dominated field is the
biggest mistake of my life. </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVbxvkGRkNBxr78WxdRExeTSwdvlcrfbnhRhyphenhyphenEpo16uz3OMdUSObdUXD8-3GC82MnY-FVf1FLExm6Qq6YmCVE5K3xLYGoqEfAXZpFSEQTa_WFk1gM4K_lP5XZyJsWIIHLnfvaJpCtA8fze/s1600/The+day+I+came+out+to+my+bosses+and+HR..jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVbxvkGRkNBxr78WxdRExeTSwdvlcrfbnhRhyphenhyphenEpo16uz3OMdUSObdUXD8-3GC82MnY-FVf1FLExm6Qq6YmCVE5K3xLYGoqEfAXZpFSEQTa_WFk1gM4K_lP5XZyJsWIIHLnfvaJpCtA8fze/s1600/The+day+I+came+out+to+my+bosses+and+HR..jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">This
is the photo of the day when I came out to the HR department and all of my
supervisors.</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">After explaining what I was going through, the response
was cold and uncompassionate. I am forced to maintain a masculine personna at
work, and have been deemed a trouble maker just because I’m not like them.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjVdVYSo4HWapGgvgHwMGIGtmCJL_0VqINPiofTpAVH0PN8W7dVRPO7UbnICPDHjnGKhlKSELlaRjH1hngh8jJmaK7QhtE39sa79onubo1Sc23ruyGSNmoBrBvvCrl4kVVSz19wC6WssjX/s1600/work+trying+to+force+me+to+keep+their+image.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjVdVYSo4HWapGgvgHwMGIGtmCJL_0VqINPiofTpAVH0PN8W7dVRPO7UbnICPDHjnGKhlKSELlaRjH1hngh8jJmaK7QhtE39sa79onubo1Sc23ruyGSNmoBrBvvCrl4kVVSz19wC6WssjX/s1600/work+trying+to+force+me+to+keep+their+image.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-no-proof: yes;"><br /></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
battle with work forcing me to keep their image.</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Management all
share the same attitude; I don’t belong and I’m not welcome! I'm slipping
deeper and deeper into depression, because of the emotional pain I suffer
through each night I work. Many days I’m left with suicidal thoughts from
feeling trapped and forced to live as everything I worked so hard to let go. I
have been unsuccessful in finding other employment being transgender and also
because I haven’t changed my legal name. I fear that changing my name will
result in termination! I pray every day that I can be free of the nightmare
soon- but on my terms and without hurting myself further through unemployment. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #999999;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What has been the most challenging aspect of your transition
physically? And is your transition complete?</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">*The most challenging aspect of my physical transition
has been weight loss/gain. When I finally accepted myself I felt so alive and
capable of handling anything! I challenged myself to get from a size 22 to a
size 4! I reached that goal after losing over 150lbs, then started HRT, came out
to everyone I knew and began living as a female full time. In 2014 depression
overcame me and I succumbed to old habits; re-gaining the weight I lost. I have
many more challenges ahead in my transition most of which include legal,
physical and surgical changes. I still have a lot to do!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #999999;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And mentally what was the most challenging aspect?</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">*Mentally the most challenging aspect of transition has
been the discrimination I deal with daily everywhere I go. It is so hard to keep my
composure and not scream at people when they stare, snicker, point and laugh. I
am living my life and I love myself. I have fought myself every day to accept
that. It hurts so deeply when people are so thoughtless and cruel. I’m not a punch
line or a perversion. It is extremely difficult to stand proud when faced with
discrimination. It takes a tremendous effort to get up out of bed and face the
day as the Woman I am! It takes more COURAGE than I have most days just to
face the world without HIDING!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #c00000; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="color: #999999;">Who was it most difficult to tell when you had made your
decision to come out? Were they supportive in your decision or was there
discord?</span> </span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">*My family was the most difficult to come out to. My
parents have always been supportive and very important in my life. Mother was
the one that first recognized my need to come out. I was wearing my first pair
of earrings, small cubic zirconia butterflies. She asked if I was “trying to
change my gender”. I turned to her and looked her in the eyes and said “yes”!
Daddy was a little more difficult. He wasn’t ready to accept me as Sarah. Daddy
wanted to help me “overcome the illness taking over my mind” and to pray for it
to leave me. Coming out to them really broke their hearts. It was the hardest
thing I’ve ever dealt with and we shared lots of tears and pain. We are much
closer now and they accept me as I am and love me unconditionally, and have
also accepted my boyfriend as part of the family. My three sisters, </span><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">however, </span>are not willing to accept me. It causes me to be excluded from family events.
My sisters have asked me not to come around them or their children ever again
because I am not welcome anymore. However, Mother and Daddy still make the extra
effort to include me with separate days to celebrate together. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="background-color: #999999;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #c00000; font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;"><span style="background-color: white;"><span><span style="color: #999999;">Have any of your family or friends had an about-face( in either direction) about your transition?</span></span></span><br /><span style="background-color: white;"><span><span style="background-color: white;"></span></span></span><span style="background-color: blue;"><span><span style="background-color: white;"></span></span></span> </span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">More than I can even
count! I had friends who after friendships of decades turned their backs on me
instantly. Family relationships are strained and a few dear true
friends are still with me. I have been fortunate enough to make new
understanding friends from co-workers and even neighbors! <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #999999;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I’m going to get a bit more personal now. I know you are quite beautifully
statuesque! I, personally, have referred to you as the Modern Day Julie
Newmar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Are you a very girly-girl and
wear heels? Or do you prefer to wear flats? And why? What style era are you
most identifying with? And being statuesque is it hard to find clothing that you
like?</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">*Thank you for that comparison, Julie Newmar is
beautiful, I wish...lol... I am not a really girly-girl. I am 6’5” and hate
towering over everyone so I rarely wear heels; I stick to flats most of the
time. My favourite pair of shoes is canvas sneakers, comfy and cute. I prefer
to be comfortable when just at home or running errands. My favorite outfit is
Jeans, Tank Top and Sneakers! Style Era’s I most relate to- well, I don’t have a
particular Era I most relate to. I love Victorian style for the Corsets, 50’s
inspired hoop flared skirts, I love the 60’s- but Jackie O. more than Marilyn-
sleek and elegant. I wear what draws my eye and makes me feel attractive. My
height really only effects my wardrobe when I find a cute skirt or dress. They
are always too short! Shoes can be a challenge but I’m used to it, they always
have been all my life. I have extra narrow feet and most medium widths fit fine, the
length is tricky but I have a couple of go to stores that always have my size...
they just don’t have much selection. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #999999;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">And what Brands of make-up do you prefer? How did you learn
about applying makeup? (Something I still haven’t mastered quite as well as I
would like.)</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">*Makeup: I’ve been through so many brands and styles,
MAC and Bobbi Brown were staples early on though I prefer L’Oreal Lummi
Foundation and Cover Girl pressed powder. Eyes: I like Wet n Wild eye shadows, L’Oreal
liquid eyeliner and Cover Girl Lash Blast mascara, and I use mostly Cover Girl
lipsticks. I love makeup; I expressed an interest early and in my youth and it
caused many “talks” with Mom n Dad about it not being acceptable. When I
invested in my own I would end up tossing it out most of the time after being
“caught”. Lol… I have learned the most important step in any makeup routine is
to care for your skin. I exfoliate, use cleansers and moisturize religiously! </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #999999;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I understand there was more to your transition than just the
gender issue. You went thru quite a weight loss as well, correct? Was that the
beginning of the gender transition- or was it the catalyst?</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">* In the very beginning, before coming out to anyone, I
researched the steps and results of transition. I would dream an impossible
dream that I could be the Woman I knew in my heart I was! It wasn’t real until
I made a ridiculous goal: get to a size 4 and I will come out to the world,
start hormones and live as Sarah the rest of my life! I made that goal to
myself because it was impossible. I was a size 22 with lots of help from waist
cinches, girdle’s and compression undergarments. It didn’t seem possible. Then,
I began to walk the stairs at my work 3 floors. Every time I wanted to go
upstairs I forced myself to take the stairs. Then, I changed my diet habits and
started to think maybe I could lose a few pounds. I remember thinking one day
when I was sick of the stairs and ready to give up, "My dreams will come true if
I can get to the top of the stairs." I started running the stairs from that
point on. I would run up and down 3 flights of stairs, 4 times in a row. Up, then
down, made 1 repetition. I would run 4 reps as one set and 3-4 sets per night
running as hard as I could! I started to take it serious and switched to a
Paleo diet and started Jillian Michaels 30 Day shred workout DVD along with
Pilates, Yoga and Ballet movements to add long muscle, cut fat and strengthen
my core. A year(ish) later I had lost 150lbs! A friend and co-worker whom had been
there for me from beginning was getting married and I was invited and when I
went shopping for a dress to wear I was so proud when I tried on a size 4 and I
fit!! I bought it, wore it and felt amazing! I had met my impossible goal!
Unfortunately, I gained it back and now I have to start over again. </span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
Beginning</span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">The
Pinnacle of My Success</span></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #999999;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I admit the first time I saw you after you had lost the weight I
hadn’t seen you in several months and I KNEW I knew you but couldn’t figure out
who you were at first. Even when I THOUGHT I knew- I still had to ask you. It
was quite an amazing transformation in itself!! So please-tell us- how did you
do it?</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">*Hard
work, Self-Discipline and Drive. I used to get
asked a lot when I would share my story- "What’s the secret?" There is
no secret!! It’s the same thing we have heard all our lives: A Healthy
Diet and Regular Exercise! The key is to never slow down and never let
up; just keep pushing no
matter how much you want to quit! </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #999999;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What is your relationship status? Is there a Special Someone in
your life?</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">*I am in a relationship with a great guy! We met
through a dating site and I really liked his profile answers. He seemed genuine
and kind, and I was right. I love him so much! He has been my rock more times
than I can remember. Every time I get down on myself he stops me, tells me I’m
beautiful and strong and he loves me. I’m so lucky I have him. It isn’t a total
fairy-tale love, his parents aren’t supportive and that causes a strain and we
have to hide our relationship- which is why I have excluded his name. I’m
fortunate my parents accept and love him as part of our family, and they go the extra
mile to make us feel included. My man gets along with Daddy, they talk about
sports- and Mother likes him, too. I’m so glad we make it work. My sweetheart
drives 3 hours every weekend- each way- just to be with me. We share our passions
and goals, support each other and love each other very much.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #999999;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Now that you feel comfortable in your own skin, what are your
hopes and dreams for the future? Career changes? Marriage? Children?</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">*I desperately am seeking a career change- First and Foremost! I really want to get married and have children. I think about it
almost every minute of every day. I love my Boyfriend and I would love nothing
more than to be his wife and Mother of his Children. I know I can’t give him
children and we aren’t in a place to adopt. We’ve talked about a small intimate
ceremony with a couple of close dear friends and no more. We both agree
that’s the wedding we want, but before we can reach that goal, mountains have
to be moved! I encouraged him a couple of year ago to come out to a friend he
could trust. He did and that friend created a stir with my man’s parents, they
tried to keep us apart and we now have to keep our relationship hidden from
them. Marriage isn’t something I can see for us right now, but I hope with all
my heart I’m wrong! </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #999999;"><span style="background-color: white;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Is there any advice you would give to anyone who might be
thinking about coming out to their family and friends about any sort of
transitions in their lives?</span></b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">* I got some very sound advice from a dear friend and
her wife before coming out just let people know you love them. I started off
with "I love you and I want you to know me for who I truly am." almost every time
I came out to family and close friends. Transgender is a very hard path to
follow. You have to fight every day to be yourself! Gender isn’t as simple as
Pink or Blue for us. Just be respectful and listen, try to understand how hard
it is to be different. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #999999;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">What is the one question I didn’t ask that you thought I would?
And what is the answer to it?</span></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">*I think you covered everything! Thank you, I really
had to take time to dig deep and answer the best I could. I hope I represented
Transgender Woman well. I have also a few videos up on YouTube they are pretty
old now but for anyone thinking of transition they are a help to hear real
issues. Easiest way to find them is search SarahMTF or Sarah Transgender</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #999999;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Sarah, I would like to thank you for this opportunity to
interview you for my blog. Altho I’ve known you for ages- before and after the
transition began- it’s hard for me to think of you or remember you in any way
other than “My Girlfriend, Sarah”. I can easily talk to you about anything I
would talk to any of my sisters about- and that is a true test of being a
woman. I’ve had bad experiences with men- never felt very comfortable with
them, in groups or on their own, unless they are my partner…you might have
noticed I always stay near a door or window- some kind of escape route- just in
case….but I’ve never felt that way around you. You have always been the woman
you felt you were meant to be- and now truly are.</span></b></span></div>
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<span style="color: #999999;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Verdana","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">I wish you all the joy and happiness you deserve in your
future!!!</span></b></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Lucida Handwriting"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Thank you Sunny -It was so fun</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Lucida Handwriting"; font-size: 12.0pt; line-height: 115%;">Love <br />
Sarah</span></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2412342985903019727.post-30259822059428771202015-03-28T11:06:00.000-07:002015-03-28T11:14:06.663-07:00Two Weeks Later...Quantity vs. Quality...So two weeks later and I'm still having pain in my chest, shoulders, arms and jaw. I'm not stressing like I was. I'm taking breaks, I'm following my diet pretty well....I'm not smoking, Not drinking.<br />
<br />
And I've gained to a personal high weight. 250.4 lbs. I couldn't even get my extra wide calf boots to zip up this morning.<br />
Tomorrow morning I'm starting the 21 Day No Junk Food Challenge. I was going to start it on April 1st, but in light of my weight gain when I stepped on the scale this morning, I've decided to step it up to tomorrow morning.<br />
<br />
I'm thinking that since I'm doing pretty much everything I can to lose weight and get healthy again, It has GOT to be weight gain due to menopause. Last year the doctor said I was in early stage......since then I haven't had a single flow in over 8 months. So as far as I can see, I'm in full Menopause Mode.<br />
<br />
I'm miserable. I still have the symptoms of Aunt Flo's visit- but no actual bleeding. I hurt. OMG my joints hurt so badly I cry sometimes. I cant walk- my back spasms so badly I literally cant walk...and can barely stand. I'm tired all the time. Just walking down a flight of stairs and back up at work has me huffing and puffing so badly I cant hardly breathe. I have hot flushes- so bad I have a fan on my desk at work and have it blowing on me constantly all day long. My entire body feels like it's made of lead. I'm miserable. absolutely miserable. I wake up 10 times a night and suffer from horrible nightmares when I do finally manage to get to sleep. I snore- so loudly my husband or I have taken to sleeping in separate bedrooms when we just cant deal with it anymore...so loudly I wake myself up and when I do in that split second I hear just how LOUDLY I do sound. I'm quite honestly surprised the neighbors haven't complained.<br />
<br />
I try to stay positive...I smile and try as best I can to act like everything is fine and I'm doing well and even if they aren't - the will get better, surely. But it's getting more and more difficult to hide the pain. From my hubby, from my bezzie, (who is an inspiration in determination and perseverance)....from my family, from even my office mates and my boss. I think they see the deterioration more than anyone else because I'm around them more than any of the others. <br />
<br />
I have a doctor appointment on Tuesday to discuss these issues. I'm going to ask about HRT. Up til now I have avoided HRT because there is a history of |Cancer in our family and there has been studies that suggest women who have a history of cancer in their family and taking HRT can increase the chances of getting it.<br />
My thoughts have been to avoid taking it....however- at this point, my quality of life is on such a low level I'm willing to try it despite the consequences. My thoughts now are more I'd rather take the CHANE of developing cancer in the future if I can improve my quality of life until that point- because to be perfectly honest- if I'm going to be in this much pain for the rest of my life off the HRT- ......... well, let's just say it would make me very sad to live like this for the rest of my life. <br />
<br />
So the question is- Quantity vs. Quality. How do you choose? <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2412342985903019727.post-6288609438918138152015-03-18T04:53:00.001-07:002015-03-18T04:53:18.504-07:00A Reminder.Yesterday I had an episode at work.<br />
I had really bad pains in
my chest, I felt nauseous, my jaw was throbbing, my left arm was
tingling and I felt fuzzy...lightheaded-disoriented.<br />
I went outside for a few minutes as I've had a couple of episodes like this before but not nearly as painful.<br />
It eased up a bit- so I went back inside but then a few minutes after going back in- it started up again.<br />
<br />
I
don't mind saying it scared the heck out of me. I got up and walked
down to my husbands department- stopping a couple of times along the way
because my chest was hurting so bad. I was almost crying by the time I
got downstairs to my husband who took one look at me and when I said "I
think I need to go to the A&E" - asked no questions but grabbed his
coat and took me straight there.<br />
<br />
They took me straight
back for an EEG as soon as they heard my symptoms and then brought me
back to a room on the other side for blood work. After that was done
they said I would be there probably at least overnight unless the test
results came back negative for a heart attack. By this time the chest
pain had eased to about a 3 on the pain scale- every 45 minutes or so it
would go up to a 5 or 6 and then after a few minutes go back to a 3.
They decided to move me up to a ward for the duration of my stay with
them. So up to the ward they rolled me and there I stayed . Getting
stuck numerous times for all the different tests...going to have x-rays
done- and numerous EEG and EKG.<br />
<br />
There was another
factor that raised my stress levels as well.....There was a patient in
the ward who in my opinion should have been on the psyche ward. He was
in a hospital gown, but roaming the wards. Every 10 minutes he would
come walking into the ward, pulling back the privacy curtains and
opening the bathroom(loo) /shower room doors. He even was yelling in a
strange mixture of English/German at the patients who tried to stop him
from looking in their personal belongings as well as the nurses who
tried to get him back into his bed. There was a security officer in the
ward because of his behaviour but there may as well have been no one
there- that guard was sat with his ass glued to a chair and his eyes
closed like he was napping <b>every single time</b> I went past him on my way to another test.<br />
I
mean come on- think about it- you are in a hospital bed, naked except
for that useless piece of clothing they call a GOWN, and you have a
nutcase walking around pulling open your privacy curtains and coming in
and plundering in your clothes and handbags? I took numerous photos of
him and his very offensive behavior and made my thoughts on the matter
perfectly clear after a couple of hours being on pins and needles and
seeing the terrified looks on every ones faces. I was hurting and
stressed and in no mood to hold back and I told the nurses and the
doctors who came in that they needed to get him in a bed away from
everyone because as for me- he was making my stress levels elevate
immensely and if he came near me there was going to be trouble. He got
past them a few more times, but after that they were more vigilant in
keeping him out of my ward which I think the other patients(all MUCH
older than me) appreciated. I still wasn't comfortable, but I was less
stressed than I was.<br />
<br />
Anyway, so there was one positive
to the event. As I was having a suspected heart attack, the hospital is a
University Research Hospital and one of the research teams was
developing and testing a two machines that would cut the time of a heart
attack diagnosis from 2 to 3 hours to a scant 20 minutes. They wanted
me to participate and I agreed- mainly because there is a history of
heart disease on both sides of my family. I think if they had had this
technology when my grandparents were alive both of my grandmothers would
have been with us much longer than they were. And if I can contribute
to the development of a machine that can give a quicker diagnosis and
let people be treated sooner thus ensuring a bigger chance of surviving a
heart attack and reducing the damage to their heart- I'll do it.
Gladly. Maybe it will save one of my children or grandchildrens or even
great-grandchildrens lives in the future. Who knows?! <br />
<br />
So
that research testing was completed at 8:30 PM- when they took the last
of the blood tests needed to determine if I had had a hear attack. That
test also takes 3 hours to develop results so I decided to try and nap
while I waited. I was physically and mentally exhausted at this point
and they were still coming in every hour for blood pressure checks and
just as I was nodding off they would come wake me up to ask if I was
okay...No rest at all.<br />
<br />
At 1AM the doctor finally came
in and told me the tests had come back and it had NOT been a heart
attack. They wasn't quite sure what exactly it <b>was</b> but they referred to it as a "<b>heart related incident</b>". <br />
If I had to try and diagnose myself, I would say it's what my Granny Miller had been diagnosed with..... Angina.<br />
I
couldn't remember the name of it yesterday when they were taking the
medical history- because I was so fuzzy and disoriented, but I
remembered what it was called this morning when I got up and I googled
it. Exact same symptoms except I was just a bit disoriented as well.<br />
I have to go to my doctor on the 31st so we will discuss it then.<br />
<br />
Any
who...They said they would be releasing me in the morning- but said I
could leave then if I had a way home or someone to pick me up. They said
normally they would just wait- but there was a bed shortage and if I
wanted, I could leave then. It seemed like it took them forever to get
the paperwork done after that, but long story short I was home by 2AM. I
relaxed and got a drink of diet soda before heading to bed in the spare
room so as to not wake my sweet sleeping husband in the master bedroom.
Bless his heart- he takes such good care of me when I'm hurting and
it's such a blessing to have him by my side. He is the love of my life.
With all that went on yesterday I didn't get to sleep until close to
4AM, so rather than go in to work and stress myself out by being
exhausted. I took the day off. I thought about going in at noon, but I
think the full days rest will do me more good and I can go in tomorrow
rested and be more productive.<br />
<br />
So I've been to bed and slept a few more hours. I'm going to shower and have a bit of a <b>healthy</b> lunch and then I'm going to nap for a couple MORE hours. It was seriously a very exhausting day and night. <br />
<br />
Oh-
and the doctors suggestions health wise?.....Stop smoking
COMPLETELY(even my lovely e-cig) try not to get too stressed- .......and
lost a bit of weight.<br />
<br />
Well, Duh.<br />
<br />
So this same thing just less painful happened a few years ago while I was still in the states. And the doctor then told me the exact same thing. so Sh-it just got real- this was a reminder that I need to get myself healthy again. <br />
<br />
Your Body has ways to let you KNOW if you just pay attention....and if you dont- THIS kind of thing happens.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2412342985903019727.post-7672551285831321722015-03-14T03:06:00.005-07:002015-03-14T03:06:44.254-07:00Issues...And here it is almost a month later and I'm just now posting.<br />
<br />
I've not had the best of it the past few weeks..I have managed to lose about 3 and a half pounds, but that's about all I can say.<br />
<br />
I'm constantly tired and when I TRY to go for walks my back goes into spasms so bad I have to stop and I CRY. Yes- it really does hurt that much.<br />
<br />
I know something is wrong. I went to the doctor and they're doing tests. or I should say have done tests. I should know the results of the first one by mid week. Because of where the pain is- I'm guessing my kidney function is well out of whack. I have alternate bouts of constipation and diarrhea. I do have IBS but the only time it flares up is when I eat foods with whole seeds or chunks of nuts in it. This is a totally different kind of hurting.<br />
<br />
For the time being, I have started taking a multi-vitamin and a B-complex supplement every day. Ive been taking them a couple of weeks and I can actually tell a difference this week in my energy levels. Good- I hope it keeps up- but the back/kidney thing isn't being helped by it. Honestly, it's just made me more frustrated because now I FEEL I have enough energy to exercise, but when I try my back seizes up and the pain is unbearable. I've complained about it so much my husband just thinks I'm putting it on now. I get so mad when he does that- How can I be putting it on when I'm breaking into a sweat and CRYING from the pain- to the point I have to stop and lean up against a wall or a post or anything to keep me from collapsing?<br />
<br />
It's frustrating because after 5 or 10 minutes- the pain stops and I'm able to go on for about two blocks before it returns, but it's like turning a faucet on and off...it's there full force or its not. No in between much- just on and off.<br />
<br />
I hope I get this issue resolved soon. I really do.<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2412342985903019727.post-27280442694347130922015-02-21T05:01:00.001-08:002015-02-22T06:41:13.350-08:00A Rant......(Repost- But Still Relative 10 Years Later.....)How the heck are we supposed to lose weight in our society?<br />
<br />
Have you tried lately?<br />
<br />
I
try to eat healthily. I bake my fries- I usually broil or bake meats- I
DO have a sweet tooth- but even with that I try to limit how much I
indulge(only time I REALLY give in is a couple days before Aunt Flo
visits- minimal damage).<br />
<br />
But to try and eat in public is hopeless.<br />
<br />
Order
at a restaurant and you get enough food for two people. I know you can
eat half and take the rest home- or leave it on the plate...but WHY? I
don't like warmed over food from a restaurant. I also don't like to
waste food when there are so many people starving in the world- and
besides- I don't wanna pay 12 bucks for a half serving of food and leave
the rest either. I work too hard for my money to waste it like that.
And we could share a plate- but Paulius and I don't always want the same
thing to eat when we go out- he tends to like spicy foods and I go for a
more bland type food- I have an ulcer and spicy foods double me over
when I eat them.<br />
<br />
Why the hell can't the food industry just serve NORMAL portions and decrease the price a bit?<br />
Everyone
would be happier,(except maybe the 600 lb people who think all that
food is GOOD for them and would absolutely STARVE if they weren't served
enough to feed a small nation at every meal), not to mention healthier.
Even if they DIDN'T decrease the price- it would still be better for us
because a) we wouldn't be eating those mega portions and all the fat
and calories that go with them and b) we wouldn't eat out as much
because it would be so expensive to do so,(which is exactly the reason
that they don't want to do the sensible thing like normal prices and
portions-everything has to be bigger and better than the competetions).<br />
<br />
I
can't even watch TV anymore without being bombarded with commercial
after commercial after COMMERCIAL about food- every where I look its
there- and turning the sound down doesn't help either- I can still see
the cheese oozing all hot and steaming from the pizza slice as it's
served up. I can still see the creamy chocolate dripping from the spoon
as the ice cream sundae is gobbled up. I can still see the blissful
expressions on the faces of the people eating the stuff too- and even
tho I know they are actors- they are DAMN GOOD actors because I honestly
want to run out and get some of the creamy, chewy, owwey gooey goodness
they are having while I'm watching.<br />
<br />
And
sodas- Why in the world do they sell those things in twenty oz bottles?
First they sold the little 7 oz bottles which were PERFECT for a
person- Just enough unless you were DYING of thirst and then you were
better off drinking water to satisfy your thirst. Then they upped the
dosage to 10 ozs. a bit more- but still okay. Then it went to 12 ozs.
Too much. I have a can of soda and a third of it is usually left and
wasted. Can't cap it- it's a can. Looses the fizz and tastes like CRAP.
...Then the 16 oz came along. And the 20 oz.....GREAT- for two people-
but if you are single- or driving along alone- who needs it? 16 ozs is
enough for 2 and a HALF servings. No wonder we are so freaking FAT in
this nation. They began making those little 10 oz bottles again for a
while- but finding them is like looking for a needle in a haystack- not
everywhere will stock them. The two litres are fine if you are a family
of six and the three litres are fine if you are having a party. But for
normal people it's just TOO MUCH!! But we are tempted by the more is
less pricing.<br />
<br />
Looks like I am going to have to give up watching TV and give up going out to eat at all as well to be healthy again.<br />
<br />
It just ALL pisses me off.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2412342985903019727.post-88112304870747550592015-02-21T03:32:00.000-08:002015-02-21T03:32:35.562-08:00It Doesn't Feel Like Work if You're Smiling.Well, its been a crazy couple of weeks, but the results are interesting....<br />
<br />
Ive downloaded a couple of videos(Zumba and Yoga) and have been doing them the past couple weeks.The frst week I lost another pound- but since then have been gaining til I'm back up to 17st 11lb.....But I think that's okay for now because I can see where my shape is changing a bit. I'm also a tiny bit more loose- as in flexable but I am achy in my joints and muscles- maybe from using them like I havent in quite a while??? Anyway, it's all good- and as it's dancing and stretching I'm REALLY enjoying it.<br />
<br />
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It doesn't really FEEL like it's work when you have a smile on your face!!! Right?<br />
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I've instigated a weight loss challenge at work running from 23rd FEb to April 1. We've had them before and first one worked well, but the others kind of fell flat....the other challengers would bring in treats to tempt the others to eat- and then we would all end up eating...me usually less than the others(all GUYS, I might add) but occasionally I would partake as well. It usually ended up me losing 10 or 15 lbs- and them losing two or three...in one case one of the guys actually GAINED 12 lbs!! (No willpower whatsoever-I tell ya!!)<br />
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Well, this time I upped the ante a bit.<br />
I said this time that if COLLECTIVELY we lost 10 lbs for EACH participant I would bring in a FRED for each of us the Friday after the challenge ended.<br />
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One of the guys said that wasnt really fair- because that was a LOT of weight to lose. I said exactly- and because of it<br />
1) we wouldnt be brininging in naughty food to try and tempt the others.<br />
and<br />
2)We would be trying to lose a bit MORE thyan our allotted 10 lbs to make up for the slack of another person if they didnt quite make it to their 10 lb goal.<br />
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They seemd to see the logic in that. Plus- they all like FRED.<br />
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What's Fred, you ask?<br />
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We also have a sandwich Swap every few months.... you make a sandwich, name it- and bring it in for lunch. then we write the name of our sammich on a slip of paper, then put it in a bowl/box/hat and we draw to see which sammich we get for Lunch. It's just something to do to try something new and be adventurous....out of the ordinary lunch we would normally have.<br />
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I named my Philly Cheese Steak sammich FRED. And those guys LOVE Fred.<br />
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So- as One of our participants said- I've upped the STAKESSteaks)... (Witty Guy!!)<br />
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And I haven't told them yet- but if we can make ONE POUND over HALF our goal, I'll bring in Freds anyway- Just for the effort!!!<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2412342985903019727.post-75891821284238946232015-02-08T22:41:00.001-08:002015-02-08T22:41:21.277-08:00More Progress...Short n Sweet today.<br />
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Progress...17st 9 lb today.<br />
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As long as It's going down.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2412342985903019727.post-84377265323890655132015-02-01T03:42:00.003-08:002015-02-01T03:42:15.606-08:00Results- and Progress....Well,I'm happy as a butterfly in a field of flowers...... Even after a VERY stressful week, I have managed to lose 1.25 lbs. I weighed in at <b><span style="color: #6aa84f;">17st 10.25lbs</span></b>.<br />
<br />
After my last post- I weighed three days later and <b>I had gained from 17st 7.5lb up to<span style="color: #cc0000;"> 17st 11.5lb</span></b><span style="color: #cc0000;">.</span><br />
Maybe it was fluid retention, maybe it was stress, I don't know- but I know I was almost in TEARS from the stress of that gain alone!!<br />
<br />
Anyway, I didn't dwell on it- I just shrugged it off as it is what it is and got up the next morning and continued on. And it HAS paid off. It wasn't the loss I wanted or expected, but as I said- it has been a VERY stressful week.<br />
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I've taken Monday off work as a holiday, so I can watch the Superbowl tonight(it doesn't start until 11:30 PM here in England as it's live), and then I can sleep in tomm. OR I have it recording so I can watch it tomorrow morning while I'm doing my workouts. I'm doing extra ones tomorrow.<br />
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I've exactly 25 days til my Birthday and I want to be back down into the 16 stone range again by then. I've got my house cleaned so I can totally do as much workout routines as I like tomorrow without feeling guilty about something I should be doing instead.<br />
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I've ordered me a couple of outfits too in a smaller size.<br />
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My Bezzie is out of town on a holiday this weekend, so we haven't been able to chat to each other, but I think I have done pretty good on my own. I have kept in my calorie range every day- even with having a Double Cheeseburger at Burger King on Friday evening and having a couple of Snickers Ice Cream Bars yesterday. I'm a firm believer(especially in MY case) of if you have a craving, have whatever it is- occasionally allow yourself a bit of it. If I try to deny myself a treat every once in a while- I start obsessing about it and when I finally DO give in- I binge. And that defo isn't good.<br />
<br />
Anyway, I'm on caloric track- still working on improving the types of food I eat to stay in Calorie Limit Range, drinking my water and doing my workouts. I wont give up. I refuse.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2412342985903019727.post-57023429334780360682015-01-25T04:19:00.003-08:002015-01-25T04:19:39.477-08:00Vision BoardWell, for the past couple of weekends I've been working on a vision board for this year.<br />
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Now during the course of the two weeks, I've changed my mind about what I wanted to put in it several times and had to redo the entire concept.<br />
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I finally decided to put it at two main goals...<br />
Reaching my Goal weight & owning my own home.<br />
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This is what I came up with...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTsabHIUPKG3YEpvJ_lNUVGLMM34OciUqwlXI_VjgtLGKwZPusyNrVyG8VBazHBR64eW98UaxA7BOM1KVGk26dMvqu1gX35-hoJR3GyoPCsheIqbgaWOlk95e15o0Nthgdo6qFOaSdu6w/s1600/Vision+Board.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTsabHIUPKG3YEpvJ_lNUVGLMM34OciUqwlXI_VjgtLGKwZPusyNrVyG8VBazHBR64eW98UaxA7BOM1KVGk26dMvqu1gX35-hoJR3GyoPCsheIqbgaWOlk95e15o0Nthgdo6qFOaSdu6w/s1600/Vision+Board.jpg" height="226" width="320" /></a></div>
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...in 6 months it may change- but for now- this is what I want more than anything!!!<br />
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I have already bought two outfits for my journey- and I own a sewing machine too so as I lose weight, I can alter them to still fit me.<br />
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Every time I lose 10 lbs, I'm treating myself to another of my outfits on my Vision Board.<br />
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And then me and my bezzie can go shoe shopping for the shoes I will want for them all.<br />
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Now Granted- one of the outfits(the lace up front jumpsuit) will never be worn in public, but I dont have to have it....It's gonna be enough that I know I COULD wear it with pride IF it was in my closet.<br />
And when I reach my goal weight/measurements, my husband has offered to treat me to the leather outfit of my choice......pants and jacket- dress, boots......whatever I want.<br />
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THAT alone is reward enough for me!!!<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2412342985903019727.post-47310754611181991202015-01-24T11:26:00.002-08:002015-01-24T11:26:53.420-08:00Analysis and Repairation....Okay...so I've looked over my bits and pieces of my days food for the past week or two.<br />
<br />
Altho I'm staying well within the caloric perimeters, I have noticed two things....<br />
<br />
1) I'm eating about half my calories in starches/carbs.<br />
<br />
2) I'm only getting about 2/3 the water as I should be consuming on a daily basis. <br />
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I'm going to have to keep an eye on getting more water in me because, for me, not enough water means no weight loss or even a weight gain.<br />
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And I'm going to have to replace the carbs I'm consuming with eating more fruits and veg.<br />
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As for my calorie consumption.....I've been doing a high calorie day of 2000 calories, alternated with a low calorie day of 1200 calories. I don't think my activity level is enough to support a weight loss with these values in place....so I'm going to back it back down to 600-800 low cal days and 1200 high cal days. That seemed to be when I was having the best results.<br />
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No biggie.....sometimes you try to make a change for the better and it just doesnt work out. So you have a bit of a whing and then you go back to what was working for you. I gained a few pounds- but it's not so much I cant lose it again pretty quickly.<br />
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I have an awesome support system....My hubby is supporting me in my weight loss- my mother in law has joined me in the journey and is doing GREAT, and my Bezzie is in it with me standing shoulder to shoulder. Encouraging me to go on when I feel like quitting.... talking me thru the hard times- celebrating nwith me when I have an awesome loss...or a teeny one...or none but lose inches. She's GREAT- the best thing ever is to have a steadfast Diet buddy and I hit the jackpot with my girl.<br />
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So it's onward and upward.<br />
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GoodBye 17st 7.5 lbs...Hello losing again!!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2412342985903019727.post-39299215261741368302015-01-24T02:36:00.001-08:002015-01-24T02:36:31.362-08:00Day 24Weighed today... 17st 7.5 lb<br />
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I'm going to have to rethink my eating stratedgy. Something has gone seriously wrong the past few days.<br />
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Post to follow when I get it thought thru.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0