A Reminder.

Yesterday I had an episode at work.
I had really bad pains in my chest, I felt nauseous, my jaw was throbbing, my left arm was tingling and I felt fuzzy...lightheaded-disoriented.
I went outside for a few minutes as I've had a couple of episodes like this before but not nearly as painful.
It eased up a bit- so I went back inside but then  a few minutes after going back in- it started up again.

I don't mind saying it scared the heck out of me. I got up and walked down to my husbands department- stopping a couple of times along the way because my chest was hurting so bad. I was almost crying by the time I got downstairs to my husband who took one look at me and when I said "I think I need to go to the A&E" - asked no questions but grabbed his coat and took me straight there.

They took me straight back for an EEG as soon as they heard my symptoms and then brought me back to a room on the other side for blood work. After that was done they said I would be there probably at least overnight unless the test results came back negative for a heart attack. By this time the chest pain had eased to about a 3 on the pain scale- every 45 minutes or so it would go up to a 5 or 6 and then after a few minutes go back to a 3. They decided to move me up to a ward for the duration of my stay with them. So up to the ward they rolled me and there I stayed . Getting stuck numerous times for all the different tests...going to have x-rays done- and numerous EEG and EKG.

There was another factor that raised my stress levels as well.....There was a patient in the ward who in my opinion should have been on the psyche ward. He was in a hospital gown, but roaming the wards. Every 10 minutes he would come walking into the ward, pulling back the privacy curtains and opening the bathroom(loo) /shower room doors. He even was yelling in a strange mixture of English/German at the patients who tried to stop him from looking in their personal belongings as well as the nurses who tried to get him back into his bed. There was a security officer in the ward because of his behaviour but there may as well have been no one there- that guard was sat with his ass glued to a chair and his eyes closed like he was napping every single time I went past him on my way to another test.
I mean come on- think about it- you are in a hospital bed, naked except for that useless piece of clothing they call a GOWN, and you have a nutcase walking around pulling open your privacy curtains and coming in and plundering in your clothes and handbags? I took numerous photos of him and his very offensive behavior and made my thoughts on the matter perfectly clear after a couple of hours being on pins and needles and seeing the terrified looks on every ones faces. I was hurting and stressed and in no mood to hold back  and I told the nurses and the doctors who came in that they needed to get him in a bed away from everyone because as for me- he was making my stress levels elevate immensely and if he came near me there was going to be trouble. He got past them a few more times, but after that they were more vigilant in keeping him out of my ward which I think the other patients(all MUCH older than me) appreciated. I still wasn't comfortable, but I was less stressed than I was.

Anyway, so there was one positive to the event. As I was having a suspected heart attack, the hospital is a University Research Hospital and one of the research teams was developing and testing a two machines that would cut the time of a heart attack diagnosis from 2 to 3 hours to a scant 20 minutes. They wanted me to participate and I agreed- mainly because there is a history of heart disease on both sides of my family. I think if they had had this technology when my grandparents were alive both of my grandmothers would have been with us much longer than they were. And if I can contribute to the development of a machine that can give a quicker diagnosis and let people be treated sooner thus ensuring a bigger chance of surviving a heart attack and reducing the damage to their heart- I'll do it. Gladly. Maybe it will save one of my children or grandchildrens or even great-grandchildrens lives in the future. Who knows?!

So that research testing was completed at 8:30 PM- when they took the last of the blood tests needed to determine if I had had a hear attack. That test also takes 3 hours to develop results so I decided to try and nap while I waited. I was physically and mentally exhausted at this point and they were still coming in every hour for blood pressure checks and  just as I was nodding off they would come wake me up to ask if I was okay...No rest at all.

At 1AM the doctor finally came in and told me the tests had come back and it had NOT been a heart attack. They wasn't quite sure what exactly it was but they referred to it as a "heart related incident".
 If I had to try and diagnose myself, I would say it's what my Granny Miller had been diagnosed with..... Angina.
 I couldn't remember the name of it yesterday when they were taking the medical history- because I was so fuzzy and disoriented, but I remembered what it was called this morning when I got up and I googled it. Exact same symptoms except I was just a bit disoriented as well.
 I have to go to my doctor on the 31st so we will discuss it then.

Any who...They said they would be releasing me in the morning- but said I could leave then if I had a way home or someone to pick me up. They said normally they would just wait- but there was a bed shortage and if I wanted, I could leave then. It seemed like it took them forever to get the paperwork done after that, but long story short I was home by 2AM. I relaxed and got a drink of diet soda before heading to bed in the spare room so as to not wake my sweet sleeping husband in the master bedroom. Bless his heart- he takes such good care of me when I'm hurting and it's such a blessing to have him by my side. He is the love of my life. With all that went on yesterday I didn't get to sleep until close to 4AM, so rather than go in to work and stress myself out by being exhausted. I took the day off. I thought about going in at noon, but I think the full days rest will do me more good and I can go in tomorrow rested and be more productive.

So I've been to bed and slept a few more hours. I'm going to shower and have a bit of a healthy lunch and then I'm going to nap for a couple MORE hours. It was seriously a very exhausting day and night.

Oh- and the doctors suggestions health wise?.....Stop smoking COMPLETELY(even my lovely e-cig) try not to get too stressed- .......and lost a bit of weight.

Well, Duh.

So this same thing  just less painful happened a few years ago while I was still in the states. And the doctor then told me the exact same thing. so Sh-it just got real- this was a reminder that I need to get myself  healthy again. 

Your Body has ways to let you KNOW if you just pay attention....and if you dont- THIS kind of thing happens.

Issues...

And here it is almost a month later and I'm just now posting.

I've not had the best of it the past few weeks..I have managed to lose about 3 and a half pounds, but that's about all I can say.

I'm constantly tired and when I TRY to go for walks my back goes into spasms so bad I have to stop and I CRY. Yes- it really does hurt that much.

I know something is wrong. I went to the doctor and they're doing tests. or I should say have done tests. I should know the results of the first one by mid week. Because of where the pain is- I'm guessing my kidney function is well out of whack. I have alternate bouts of constipation and diarrhea. I do have IBS but the only time it flares up is when I eat foods with whole seeds or chunks of nuts in it. This is a totally different kind of hurting.

For the time being, I have started taking a multi-vitamin  and a B-complex supplement every day. Ive been taking them a couple of weeks and I can actually tell a difference this week in my energy levels. Good- I hope it keeps up- but the back/kidney thing isn't being helped by it. Honestly, it's just made me more frustrated because now I FEEL I have enough energy to exercise, but when I try my back seizes up and the pain is unbearable. I've complained about it so much my husband just thinks I'm putting it on now. I get so mad when he does that- How can I be putting it on when I'm breaking into a sweat and CRYING from the pain- to the point I have to stop and lean up against a wall or a post or anything to keep me from collapsing?

It's frustrating because after 5 or 10 minutes- the pain stops and I'm able to go on for about two blocks before it returns, but it's like turning a faucet on and off...it's there full force or its not. No in between much- just on and off.

I hope I get this issue resolved soon. I really do.

A Rant......(Repost- But Still Relative 10 Years Later.....)

How the heck are we supposed to lose weight in our society?

Have you tried lately?

I try to eat healthily. I bake my fries- I usually broil or bake meats- I DO have a sweet tooth- but even with that I try to limit how much I indulge(only time I REALLY give in is a couple days before Aunt Flo visits- minimal damage).

But to try and eat in public is hopeless.

Order at a restaurant and you get enough food for two people. I know you can eat half and take the rest home- or leave it on the plate...but WHY? I don't like warmed over food from a restaurant. I also don't like to waste food when there are so many people starving in the world- and besides- I don't wanna pay 12 bucks for a half serving of food and leave the rest either. I work too hard for my money to waste it like that. And we could share a plate- but Paulius and I don't always want the same thing to eat when we go out- he tends to like spicy foods and I go for a more bland type food- I have an ulcer and spicy foods double me over when I eat them.

Why the hell can't the food industry just serve NORMAL portions and decrease the price a bit?
Everyone would be happier,(except maybe the 600 lb people who think all that food is GOOD for them and would absolutely STARVE if they weren't served enough to feed a small nation at every meal), not to mention healthier. Even if they DIDN'T decrease the price- it would still be better for us because a) we wouldn't be eating those mega portions and all the fat and calories that go with them and b) we wouldn't eat out as much because it would be so expensive to do so,(which is exactly the reason that they don't want to do the sensible thing like normal prices and portions-everything has to be bigger and better than the competetions).

I can't even watch TV anymore without being bombarded with commercial after commercial after COMMERCIAL about food- every where I look its there- and turning the sound down doesn't help either- I can still see the cheese oozing all hot and steaming from the pizza slice as it's served up. I can still see the creamy chocolate dripping from the spoon as the ice cream sundae is gobbled up. I can still see the blissful expressions on the faces of the people eating the stuff too- and even tho I know they are actors- they are DAMN GOOD actors because I honestly want to run out and get some of the creamy, chewy, owwey gooey goodness they are having while I'm watching.

And sodas- Why in the world do they sell those things in twenty oz bottles? First they sold the little 7 oz bottles which were PERFECT for a person- Just enough unless you were DYING of thirst and then you were better off drinking water to satisfy your thirst. Then they upped the dosage to 10 ozs. a bit more- but still okay. Then it went to 12 ozs. Too much. I have a can of soda and a third of it is usually left and wasted. Can't cap it- it's a can. Looses the fizz and tastes like CRAP. ...Then the 16 oz came along. And the 20 oz.....GREAT- for two people- but if you are single- or driving along alone- who needs it? 16 ozs is enough for 2 and a HALF servings. No wonder we are so freaking FAT in this nation. They began making those little 10 oz bottles again for a while- but finding them is like looking for a needle in a haystack- not everywhere will stock them. The two litres are fine if you are a family of six and the three litres are fine if you are having a party. But for normal people it's just TOO MUCH!! But we are tempted by the more is less pricing.

 Looks like I am going to have to give up watching TV and give up going out to eat at all as well to be healthy again.

It just ALL pisses me off.

It Doesn't Feel Like Work if You're Smiling.

Well, its been a crazy couple of weeks, but the results are interesting....

Ive downloaded a couple of videos(Zumba and Yoga) and have been doing them the past couple weeks.The frst week I lost another pound- but since then have been gaining til I'm back up to 17st 11lb.....But I think that's okay for now because I can see where my shape is changing a bit. I'm also a tiny bit more loose- as in flexable but I am achy in my joints and muscles- maybe from using them like I havent in quite a while??? Anyway, it's all good- and as it's dancing and stretching I'm REALLY enjoying it.


It doesn't really FEEL like it's work when you have a smile on your face!!! Right?

I've instigated a weight loss challenge at work running from 23rd FEb to April 1. We've had them before and first one worked well, but the others kind of fell flat....the other challengers would bring in treats to tempt the others to eat- and then we would all end up eating...me usually less than the others(all GUYS, I might add) but occasionally I would partake as well. It usually ended up me losing 10 or 15 lbs- and them losing two or three...in one case one of the guys actually GAINED 12 lbs!! (No willpower whatsoever-I tell ya!!)

Well, this time I upped the ante a bit.
I said this time that if COLLECTIVELY we lost 10 lbs for EACH participant I would bring in a FRED for each of us the Friday after the challenge ended.

One of the guys said that wasnt really fair- because that was a LOT of weight to lose. I said exactly- and because of it
1) we wouldnt be brininging in naughty food to try and tempt the others.
and
2)We would be trying to lose a bit MORE thyan our allotted 10 lbs to make up for the slack of another person if they didnt quite make it to their 10 lb goal.

They seemd to see the logic in that. Plus- they all like FRED.

What's Fred, you ask?

We also have a sandwich Swap every few months.... you make a sandwich, name it- and bring it in for lunch. then we write the name of our sammich on a slip of paper, then put it in a bowl/box/hat and we draw to see which sammich we get for Lunch. It's just something to do to try something new and be adventurous....out of the ordinary lunch we would normally have.

I named my Philly Cheese Steak sammich FRED. And those guys LOVE Fred.

So- as One of our participants said- I've upped the STAKESSteaks)... (Witty Guy!!)

And I haven't told them yet- but if we can make ONE POUND over HALF our goal, I'll bring in Freds anyway- Just for the effort!!!

More Progress...

Short n Sweet today.

Progress...17st 9 lb today.

As long as It's going down.

Results- and Progress....

Well,I'm happy as a  butterfly in a field of flowers...... Even after a VERY stressful week, I have managed to lose 1.25 lbs. I weighed in at 17st 10.25lbs.

After my last post- I weighed three days later and I had gained from 17st 7.5lb up to 17st 11.5lb.
Maybe it was fluid retention, maybe it was stress, I don't know- but I know I was almost in TEARS from the stress of that gain alone!!

Anyway, I didn't dwell on it- I just shrugged it off as  it is what it is and got up the next morning and  continued on. And it HAS paid off. It wasn't the loss I wanted or expected, but as I said- it has been a VERY stressful week.

I've taken Monday off work as a holiday, so I can watch the Superbowl tonight(it doesn't start until 11:30 PM here in England as it's live), and then I can sleep in tomm. OR I have it recording so I can watch it tomorrow morning while I'm doing my workouts. I'm doing extra ones tomorrow.

I've exactly 25 days til my Birthday and I want to be back down into the 16 stone range again by then.  I've got my house cleaned so I can totally do as much workout routines as I like tomorrow without feeling guilty about something I should be doing instead.

I've ordered me a couple of outfits too in a smaller size.

My Bezzie is out of town on a holiday this weekend, so we haven't been able to chat to each other, but I think I have done pretty good on my own. I have kept in my calorie range every day- even with  having a Double Cheeseburger at Burger King on Friday evening and having a couple of Snickers Ice Cream Bars yesterday. I'm a firm believer(especially in MY case) of if you have a craving, have whatever it is- occasionally allow yourself a bit of it. If I try to deny myself a treat every once in a while- I start obsessing about it and when I finally DO give in- I binge. And that defo isn't good.

Anyway, I'm on caloric track- still working on improving the types of food I eat to stay in Calorie Limit Range, drinking my water and doing my workouts. I wont give up. I refuse.

Vision Board

Well, for the past couple of weekends I've been working on a vision board for this year.

Now during the course of the two weeks, I've changed my mind about what I wanted to put in it several times and had to redo the entire concept.

I finally decided to put it at two main goals...
 Reaching my Goal weight & owning my own home.

This is what I came up with...

...in 6 months it may change- but for now- this is what I want more than anything!!!

I have already bought two outfits for my journey- and I own a sewing machine too so as I lose weight, I can alter them to still fit me.

Every time I lose  10 lbs, I'm treating myself to another of my outfits on my Vision Board.

And then me and my bezzie can go shoe shopping for the shoes I will want for them all.

Now Granted- one of the outfits(the lace up front jumpsuit) will never be worn in public, but I dont have to have it....It's gonna be enough that I know I COULD wear it with pride IF it was in my closet.
And when I reach my goal weight/measurements, my husband has offered to treat me to the leather outfit of my choice......pants and jacket- dress, boots......whatever I want.

THAT alone is reward enough for me!!!