Two Weeks Later...Quantity vs. Quality...

So two weeks later and I'm still having pain in my chest, shoulders, arms and jaw.  I'm not stressing like I was. I'm taking breaks, I'm following my diet pretty well....I'm not smoking, Not drinking.

And I've gained to a personal high weight. 250.4 lbs. I couldn't even get my extra wide calf boots to zip up this morning.
Tomorrow morning I'm starting the 21 Day No Junk Food Challenge. I was going to start it on April 1st, but in light of my weight gain when I stepped on the scale this morning, I've decided to step it up to tomorrow morning.

I'm thinking that since I'm doing pretty much everything I can to lose weight and get healthy again, It has GOT to be weight gain due to menopause. Last year the doctor said I was in early stage......since then I haven't had a single flow in over 8 months. So as far as I can see, I'm in full Menopause Mode.

I'm miserable. I still have the symptoms of Aunt Flo's visit- but no actual bleeding. I hurt. OMG my joints hurt so badly I cry sometimes. I cant walk- my back spasms so badly I literally cant walk...and can barely stand. I'm tired all the time. Just walking down a flight of stairs and back up at work has me huffing and puffing so badly I cant hardly breathe. I have hot flushes- so bad I have a fan on my desk at work and have it blowing on me constantly all day long.  My entire body feels like it's made of lead. I'm miserable. absolutely miserable. I wake up 10 times a night and suffer from horrible nightmares when I do finally manage to get to sleep. I snore- so loudly my husband or I have taken to sleeping in separate bedrooms when we just cant deal with it anymore...so loudly I wake myself up and when I do in that split second I hear just how LOUDLY I do sound. I'm quite honestly surprised the neighbors haven't complained.

I try to stay positive...I smile and try as best I can to act like everything is fine and I'm doing well and even if they aren't - the will get better, surely. But it's getting more and more difficult to hide the pain. From my hubby, from my bezzie, (who is an inspiration in determination and perseverance)....from my family, from even my office mates and my boss. I think they see the deterioration more than anyone else because I'm around them more than any of the others.

I have a doctor appointment on Tuesday to discuss these issues.  I'm going to ask about HRT. Up til now I have avoided HRT because there is a history of |Cancer in our family and there has been studies that suggest women who have a history of cancer in their family and taking HRT can increase the chances of getting it.
My thoughts have been to avoid taking it....however- at this point, my quality of life is on such a low level I'm willing to try it despite the consequences. My thoughts now are more I'd rather take the CHANE of developing cancer in the future if I can improve my quality of life until that point- because to be perfectly honest- if I'm going to be in this much pain for the rest of my life off the HRT- ......... well, let's just say it would make me very sad to live like this for the rest of my life.

So the question is- Quantity vs. Quality. How do you choose?