Excuses, Excuses....Otherwise Know as Reason #1, 2, 3, ...ect...

Okay, so here it is - almost holiday time again- and I've been doing so well on my slim fast eating plan. Easy and quick.... til the stress sets in.

So here are a list of the times of year it is and all the lies I tell myself.
January- I'm generally very good this time of year on eating clean.... until I run up on that unopened box of chocolates or Christmas cookies I completely forgot about and didn't get under the tree.
Well, I dont want to waste good money on treats and then have them go to waste- Apparently I'd rather eat them and them go to waist. And hips....... and chin.
So....I usually finish those off about the 2nd week in January- lo and behold- just in time for Paul's Birthday on the 3rd week of January! The only time of the year he wants cake- and by golly, if my hubby wants cake- he's gonna get a Birthday cake!! And it cant be just a plain cake- oh nooooo- he is such a special man he has to have the best I can possibly give him.  So I do. Filling, frosting, topping, sprinkles and candles.

So then, I'm pretty good for about a month. Paul and I dont really "do" Valentines day, so no worries about Chocolate boxes there. I'll just pick up a pack of Chocolate Bourbon biscuits to nibble on here and there....because at the end of the month of February is MY Birthday!! I dont make myself a cake- I BUY one.  Whichever flavor my heart desires- plus Paul always takes me out for a lovely dinner at Frankie & Benny's- or Burger King- whichever my heart desires. (is it any  wonder I love him so much?)

After that binge I'm usually good for at least a few weeks. After all, there's nothing much to be celebrated in March, is there? Except- I always bake a huge Cake for all the Birthdays in the office - for EACH and EVERY month of the year!!!!
So after making a big cake, I have to have a slice of it.... umm.... quality control, right? Yes- that's it. Quality Control.

Then April slides along- and usually Easter or The arrival of Spring. That's something to celebrate, isn't it?  And the Father-in-laws birthday- and Mother's Day in the UK. Of course it is- warmer weather- who doesn't want to celebrate with a few treats and a cake for the arrival of spring and Birthdays and Mother's Day in the UK???
So we do.

And then........

May- Beautiful, Glorious May!!!!!! Mothers day in the USA- and I console myself with treats for Mother's Day because I'm so far away from my Kids and my Mom. And I do console myself - quite a LOT.
Then Mid May- I celebrate. Mine and Hubby's Anniversary is slap Bang in the middle of May and we go out for a nice meal and of course- we have dessert. It would be rude not to!!
Then I'm very very good for a couple of weeks because I start berating myself for all the weight I've gained since the wedding- when, BTW- they had to put in bloody gussets in my dress because I had gained so much weight since buying it!! And I thought I looked big as a whale then!!!

Then June comes along- and another Monthly Birthday Cake- and other than that I am pretty good- because I lose my appetite  in warmer weather.  I nibble- ad I graze, but I rarely eat a full meal- and I do lose a bit of weight in the warm months of the year.
Same with July and August- I honestly drink most of my calories-(Except for the Birthday Cake I make for my Mother-in-law end of July for her birthday- and she has more self control and discipline than I do when it comes to cake)... but normally I have a sandwich in the evenings after work or maybe a cold pasta salad if I'm actually really hungry. Only if I have a sammich I HAVE to have crisps or chips or it isn't a "nutritional" meal/snack is it?
Rightttttttttt.

September rolls around- and that signals the beginning of cooler weather and my favorite season of the year- AUTUMN!!!!  Apple Spice Cakes, Pots of Chili with melted cheese on top and tortilla chips on the side.... BBQ chicken or ribs or pulled pork sandwiches with hot Oven Fries. The list of Oh so naughty but Oh so delicious food is endless. And I deserve a treat or two(hundred)  with all I have to deal with, dont I?
Of course I do.

October rolls round and its a month long celebration of all things Dark and Magical and spooky. Cupcakes in purple and green and orange and black- All sorts of sweets on Spooky wrappers to celebrate the month of Spooktacular Fun and Revelry.
Wait- Halloween is only one night? Oh pish-posh. Live a little!! We deserve a bit of fun in our lives, right? We deserve a treat now and again...every day.
So,  FINALLY October is OVER and DONE with. I'm sick to death of candy and sweets by now- so I'm pretty good the next few weeks again... as I'm planning Thanksgiving Dinner!!!! Turkey and cranberry jelly and stuffing/dressing  and mac n cheese and broccoli casserole and mashed potatoes and candied yams and boats and boats of gravy drowning our food and being sopped up with fluffy soft rolls. Real food and about time, too!!  I stuff myself- and think I cant possibly eat any of that Spice Cake or Pumpkin or pecan or sweet potato pie after that huge meal...but after dozing in the recliner for a couple hours listening to the TV- I find myself a bit peckish and off I pop to the kitchen to decide what I want for afters...... and not being able to decide on a single thing- decide to have a sample of them all- and do it again before I pop off to bed for the night- so I dont get up an have a midnight or 3am snack, you know.
Riiiiiighttttttttt.......

Fast Forward a week later- it's December- and the start of the Holiday Season for REAL!! The tree goes up- and the baking starts. Cookies, Cakes, Home-made Candies, Gingerbread men- and the houses to go with it, peppermints and chocolate oranges and nuts and Boxes of Chocolates under the tree- and then Then on Christmas Day- you get Thanksgiving Dinner all over again- only THIS time you get all sorts of CHRISTMAS treats along with it like Cherry Yum Yum and Christmas Cake and  Fruit Rolls.No worries tho- it's almost the New Year and THEN- it will be a new Beginning....
But first, there is New Years Eve..... a final night of eating and drinking and Celebrating out with the old and in with then new...... And we make the most of it- only I dont anymore- With the occasional exception of a small intimate gathering with a few close friends, we usually end our year tucked snug in our beds well before Midnight.

A Perfect End to a Not So Perfect Year... Again.