Test Results In- If I were a Horse, They'd Shoot Me.

Well, it's been a while since I posted, but there's been a perfectly good reason.

I've been a bit ill. I've been in the hospital and then in the doctors for lots and lots and LOTS of tests.

I went for the final results of all the tests last Monday- and this is what the outcome is.

I'm in post menopause. My blood pressure is sky high. I'm depressed. I'm exhausted.  I'm over weight. I'm slightly asthmatic. And I'm one point away from being a diabetic.

If I were a horse they would take me out back and shoot me.

What are we doing about it?

1) The doctor put me on an inhaler and is referring me to a sleep clinic for the asthma and sleep problems.

2)She also put me on HRT with my approval for the depression, and stress and which are both- along with the breathing problems caused in part by the menopause.

3) She's referred me to a Blood Pressure clinic where I have to go have my blood pressure checked on a regular basis.

4) She's strongly suggested going on a diet and exercise program and sticking to it until my excess weight is gone and my blood sugar numbers return to closer to normal. She said at one point away from the Diabetic Line I may as well act like I am already there- BUT I can make it better by following her recommendations.

Over the past week, I've started on the HRT tablets and am seeing a tiny bit of difference in my sleep and my mood swings. I was to the point I was crying all the time. I'm not even joking- I would be on top of the world one second and the next- anything made me cry- just burst into tears for no reason at all.....well, I obviously thought there was a reason, but it was anything from the advert on TV was sad, to Paul said I looked nice, to the Guinea pig must feel lonely, to it's started raining again. I even cried once because the toilet roll needed changing. I'm not joking an iota.

I have never been this moody and upset all the time in my life. With Two exceptions....the first few months after my daddy passed away- and the same with my son. When I think about them I still get terribly upset like that- but there's a difference between being upset over missing/losing your loved ones and being upset that badly over the toilet roll needing changing.
The doctor asked me why I hadn't asked about HRT sooner  as it could have alleviated a lot of these symptoms much sooner for me. (Apparently, I have been going thru pre/peri Menopause for about the past 8 or 9 years.)
 I explained that from the studies I had read on HRT women with a history of cancers in their family have a greater chance of getting it if they are on HRT. And they way my luck runs, I didn't think it was worth the risk with the history of cancers in my family.

Why am I open to the option now? Quite simply- Quality of Life.
I'm at my wits end being so emotional all the time. I'm faking being happy more than I spent  actually being happy.  And I've reached a point I'm thinking- I don't care anymore- I'd rather take the HRT with the small chance of getting cancer somewhere down the line in a few years and have these symptoms alleviated and be able to be happy again the rest of my life than to feel the kind of depression and misery I was feeling without it.

 I researched  diets and eating plans and came to the conclusion that the Clean Food  Eating Plan was best for my weight loss/ high blood pressure/ diabetes issues. I allow myself one small glass of diet soda and one small cup of coffee a day...(non dairy creamer only for the coffee). The rest of the time it's at LEAST 2 litres of water a day.

I have to choose my clean foods carefully because of the GI content- but I can have the high GI foods occasionally.

I can have treat meals where I have anything I like occasionally...but there is the key word- OCCASIONALLY.

I can also eat out- as I learned this weekend.
We went out to town and hubby asked where I wanted to eat lunch. I said SUBWAY since I knew I could get a Clean salad there. But when we arrived it was packed OUT. So across the road was The Chinese Buffet. I was skeptical(hahaha) of eating there as I was sure they wouldn't have more than a couple of foods there I could eat- even on their salad bar- but lo and behold I managed to have a LOVELY CLEAN lunch!!!
I had Tuna, Lettuce, olives, beetroot and boiled eggs.. It was lovely!!!   My usual fare there is  Chicken Nuggets, Salt n Pepper chips(my fav), onion rings and sweet n sour chicken ...maybe even some naan bread.

I've stopped eating anything sweet except fruit. No added sugar to anything. I have given up chocolate full stop- except for the VERY special occasion. The first three days, the withdrawal were absolute HELL. But the past two days hubby has turned to me and offered me a tiny little chocolate covered cookie and I had no desire for it. Not even tempted in the least.

And I've been walking....Up and down the stairs at work when the weather is bad, when it's nice I've walked to the doctors office for my blood pressure check and for my meds at the pharmacy next door to it (on my lunch hour) . Hubby and I had a nice long walk around town on Saturday too. Sunday I'm doing my exercise video or yoga.(Pretty much a day of rest but I'm still doing SOMETHING for exercise.)

Since Monday when I found out all the test results and starting on the Clean Food Eating plan, I've lost a grand total of....6 pounds.

I know that's mostly my body sloughing off the excess fluids, but it's headed in the right direction.

So now you know...The Rest Of The Story. (Trademark *Paul Harvey)

Transformation- Inspiration- Dedication- Realization.

I originally interviewed Sarah for my main blog- but I wanted to publish her story here as well. She is such an inspiration to us all.....Hers is a story or not only a weight transformation, but a life transformationin so many ways. 
Read her story and be inspired by her....
 
 Transformation- Inspiration- Dedication- Realization.

*Interview with Sarah Jordan*

In my journeys, I have met many interesting people from all walks of life.

This is an interview with one of those persons - one who not only dreamt a dream- but made if come TRUE with nothing short of dedication, bravery and determination.

This is Her Story……

 Hi Sarah. Can you tell us a bit about yourself in your own words?

Thank you so much for such a kind statement!

I’m Sarah and I’m a Transgender Woman in South Carolina! I have always felt my gender at birth doesn’t fit the gender I feel I am.

I was about four years old when I first introduced myself as Sarah! When I heard my name I felt strong, beautiful and alive! I knew that was my true name! That name fit me more than any other name I was called. Since then I’ve known I am different than others. I learned to hide how I felt and built a shell around me that I lived in until I was ready to come out!

I have been transitioning from male to female since 2009 and on hormone therapy since 2011. I first came out to a friend and co-worker whom I felt comfortable just being myself with. I confided in her a secret I had kept inside for my entire life and she was comforting, supportive and understanding. She was the only person at that time to ever know the real me! She encouraged me to open up more and peel away the layers of insecurity and fear built up over a lifetime of hiding, until I was finally true to who I am.

Accepting to live as the person I am and not the shell of a person I created has been extremely difficult. I face discrimination, prejudice and judgement every day! I have lost lifelong friends and even some family. I have also met some inspiring people whom have given me strength and hope. Life is hard and having people who love you can carry you through the worst of it. I am fortunate to have lots of love in my life from my parents, boyfriend and a new family of friends. 

  

How old were you when you decided to begin your transition? How old are you now? OOPs- sorry about that- you should NEVER ask a woman two things… her weight and her age- so you can ignore that last question if you like.

*I don’t mind revealing my age, lol. I was 32 when I came out and slowly began living as female full time. I went through the recommended and psychological therapy and lived for 2 years as my preferred gender before I began Hormone Replacement Therapy. I have been on HRT just a little over 4 years. My whole life I’ve struggled to be myself and after a long time I’ve finally accepted my true self.

I understand you work in a pretty much male dominated job. How has your transition affected your work-life?

* Working in Law Enforcement/Security is more challenging than I ever considered, working in such a male dominated field is the biggest mistake of my life.

This is the photo of the day when I came out to the HR department and all of my supervisors.

After explaining what I was going through, the response was cold and uncompassionate. I am forced to maintain a masculine personna at work, and have been deemed a trouble maker just because I’m not like them.

The battle with work forcing me to keep their image.

 Management all share the same attitude; I don’t belong and I’m not welcome! I'm slipping deeper and deeper into depression, because of the emotional pain I suffer through each night I work. Many days I’m left with suicidal thoughts from feeling trapped and forced to live as everything I worked so hard to let go. I have been unsuccessful in finding other employment being transgender and also because I haven’t changed my legal name. I fear that changing my name will result in termination! I pray every day that I can be free of the nightmare soon- but on my terms and without hurting myself further through unemployment.

What has been the most challenging aspect of your transition physically? And is your transition complete?

*The most challenging aspect of my physical transition has been weight loss/gain. When I finally accepted myself I felt so alive and capable of handling anything! I challenged myself to get from a size 22 to a size 4! I reached that goal after losing over 150lbs, then started HRT, came out to everyone I knew and began living as a female full time. In 2014 depression overcame me and I succumbed to old habits; re-gaining the weight I lost. I have many more challenges ahead in my transition most of which include legal, physical and surgical changes. I still have a lot to do!

And mentally what was the most challenging aspect?

*Mentally the most challenging aspect of transition has been the discrimination I deal with daily everywhere I go. It is so hard to keep my composure and not scream at people when they stare, snicker, point and laugh. I am living my life and I love myself. I have fought myself every day to accept that. It hurts so deeply when people are so thoughtless and cruel. I’m not a punch line or a perversion. It is extremely difficult to stand proud when faced with discrimination. It takes a tremendous effort to get up out of bed and face the day as the Woman I am! It takes more COURAGE than I have most days just to face the world without HIDING!

Who was it most difficult to tell when you had made your decision to come out? Were they supportive in your decision or was there discord?

*My family was the most difficult to come out to. My parents have always been supportive and very important in my life. Mother was the one that first recognized my need to come out. I was wearing my first pair of earrings, small cubic zirconia butterflies. She asked if I was “trying to change my gender”. I turned to her and looked her in the eyes and said “yes”! Daddy was a little more difficult. He wasn’t ready to accept me as Sarah. Daddy wanted to help me “overcome the illness taking over my mind” and to pray for it to leave me. Coming out to them really broke their hearts. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with and we shared lots of tears and pain. We are much closer now and they accept me as I am and love me unconditionally, and have also accepted my boyfriend as part of the family. My three sisters, however, are not willing to accept me. It causes me to be excluded from family events. My sisters have asked me not to come around them or their children ever again because I am not welcome anymore. However, Mother and Daddy still make the extra effort to include me with separate days to celebrate together.

Have any of your family or friends had an about-face( in either direction) about your transition?

More than I can even count! I had friends who after friendships of decades turned their backs on me instantly. Family relationships are strained and a few dear true friends are still with me. I have been fortunate enough to make new understanding friends from co-workers and even neighbors!  

I’m going to get a bit more personal now. I know you are quite beautifully statuesque! I, personally, have referred to you as the Modern Day Julie Newmar.  Are you a very girly-girl and wear heels? Or do you prefer to wear flats? And why? What style era are you most identifying with? And being statuesque is it hard to find clothing that you like?

*Thank you for that comparison, Julie Newmar is beautiful, I wish...lol... I am not a really girly-girl. I am 6’5” and hate towering over everyone so I rarely wear heels; I stick to flats most of the time. My favourite pair of shoes is canvas sneakers, comfy and cute. I prefer to be comfortable when just at home or running errands. My favorite outfit is Jeans, Tank Top and Sneakers! Style Era’s I most relate to- well, I don’t have a particular Era I most relate to. I love Victorian style for the Corsets, 50’s inspired hoop flared skirts, I love the 60’s- but Jackie O. more than Marilyn- sleek and elegant. I wear what draws my eye and makes me feel attractive. My height really only effects my wardrobe when I find a cute skirt or dress. They are always too short! Shoes can be a challenge but I’m used to it, they always have been all my life. I have extra narrow feet and most medium widths fit fine, the length is tricky but I have a couple of go to stores that always have my size... they just don’t have much selection.

And what Brands of make-up do you prefer? How did you learn about applying makeup? (Something I still haven’t mastered quite as well as I would like.)

*Makeup: I’ve been through so many brands and styles, MAC and Bobbi Brown were staples early on though I prefer L’Oreal Lummi Foundation and Cover Girl pressed powder. Eyes: I like Wet n Wild eye shadows, L’Oreal liquid eyeliner and Cover Girl Lash Blast mascara, and I use mostly Cover Girl lipsticks. I love makeup; I expressed an interest early and in my youth and it caused many “talks” with Mom n Dad about it not being acceptable. When I invested in my own I would end up tossing it out most of the time after being “caught”. Lol… I have learned the most important step in any makeup routine is to care for your skin. I exfoliate, use cleansers and moisturize religiously!

I understand there was more to your transition than just the gender issue. You went thru quite a weight loss as well, correct? Was that the beginning of the gender transition- or was it the catalyst?

* In the very beginning, before coming out to anyone, I researched the steps and results of transition. I would dream an impossible dream that I could be the Woman I knew in my heart I was! It wasn’t real until I made a ridiculous goal: get to a size 4 and I will come out to the world, start hormones and live as Sarah the rest of my life! I made that goal to myself because it was impossible. I was a size 22 with lots of help from waist cinches, girdle’s and compression undergarments. It didn’t seem possible. Then, I began to walk the stairs at my work 3 floors. Every time I wanted to go upstairs I forced myself to take the stairs. Then, I changed my diet habits and started to think maybe I could lose a few pounds. I remember thinking one day when I was sick of the stairs and ready to give up, "My dreams will come true if I can get to the top of the stairs." I started running the stairs from that point on. I would run up and down 3 flights of stairs, 4 times in a row. Up, then down, made 1 repetition. I would run 4 reps as one set and 3-4 sets per night running as hard as I could! I started to take it serious and switched to a Paleo diet and started Jillian Michaels 30 Day shred workout DVD along with Pilates, Yoga and Ballet movements to add long muscle, cut fat and strengthen my core. A year(ish) later I had lost 150lbs! A friend and co-worker whom had been there for me from beginning was getting married and I was invited and when I went shopping for a dress to wear I was so proud when I tried on a size 4 and I fit!! I bought it, wore it and felt amazing! I had met my impossible goal! Unfortunately, I gained it back and now I have to start over again. 

The Beginning

The Pinnacle of My Success

I admit the first time I saw you after you had lost the weight I hadn’t seen you in several months and I KNEW I knew you but couldn’t figure out who you were at first. Even when I THOUGHT I knew- I still had to ask you. It was quite an amazing transformation in itself!! So please-tell us- how did you do it?

*Hard work, Self-Discipline and Drive. I used to get asked a lot when I would share my story- "What’s the secret?" There is no secret!! It’s the same thing we have heard all our lives: A Healthy Diet and Regular Exercise! The key is to never slow down and never let up; just keep pushing no matter how much you want to quit!

What is your relationship status? Is there a Special Someone in your life?

*I am in a relationship with a great guy! We met through a dating site and I really liked his profile answers. He seemed genuine and kind, and I was right. I love him so much! He has been my rock more times than I can remember. Every time I get down on myself he stops me, tells me I’m beautiful and strong and he loves me. I’m so lucky I have him. It isn’t a total fairy-tale love, his parents aren’t supportive and that causes a strain and we have to hide our relationship- which is why I have excluded his name. I’m fortunate my parents accept and love him as part of our family, and they go the extra mile to make us feel included. My man gets along with Daddy, they talk about sports- and Mother likes him, too. I’m so glad we make it work. My sweetheart drives 3 hours every weekend- each way- just to be with me. We share our passions and goals, support each other and love each other very much.

Now that you feel comfortable in your own skin, what are your hopes and dreams for the future? Career changes? Marriage? Children?

*I desperately am seeking a career change- First and Foremost! I really want to get married and have children. I think about it almost every minute of every day. I love my Boyfriend and I would love nothing more than to be his wife and Mother of his Children. I know I can’t give him children and we aren’t in a place to adopt. We’ve talked about a small intimate ceremony with a couple of close dear friends and no more. We both agree that’s the wedding we want, but before we can reach that goal, mountains have to be moved! I encouraged him a couple of year ago to come out to a friend he could trust. He did and that friend created a stir with my man’s parents, they tried to keep us apart and we now have to keep our relationship hidden from them. Marriage isn’t something I can see for us right now, but I hope with all my heart I’m wrong!

Is there any advice you would give to anyone who might be thinking about coming out to their family and friends about any sort of transitions in their lives?

* I got some very sound advice from a dear friend and her wife before coming out just let people know you love them. I started off with "I love you and I want you to know me for who I truly am." almost every time I came out to family and close friends. Transgender is a very hard path to follow. You have to fight every day to be yourself! Gender isn’t as simple as Pink or Blue for us. Just be respectful and listen, try to understand how hard it is to be different.

What is the one question I didn’t ask that you thought I would? And what is the answer to it?

*I think you covered everything! Thank you, I really had to take time to dig deep and answer the best I could. I hope I represented Transgender Woman well. I have also a few videos up on YouTube they are pretty old now but for anyone thinking of transition they are a help to hear real issues. Easiest way to find them is search SarahMTF or Sarah Transgender

Sarah, I would like to thank you for this opportunity to interview you for my blog. Altho I’ve known you for ages- before and after the transition began- it’s hard for me to think of you or remember you in any way other than “My Girlfriend, Sarah”. I can easily talk to you about anything I would talk to any of my sisters about- and that is a true test of being a woman. I’ve had bad experiences with men- never felt very comfortable with them, in groups or on their own, unless they are my partner…you might have noticed I always stay near a door or window- some kind of escape route- just in case….but I’ve never felt that way around you. You have always been the woman you felt you were meant to be- and now truly are.

I wish you all the joy and happiness you deserve in your future!!!

Thank you Sunny -It was so fun

Love
Sarah

Two Weeks Later...Quantity vs. Quality...

So two weeks later and I'm still having pain in my chest, shoulders, arms and jaw.  I'm not stressing like I was. I'm taking breaks, I'm following my diet pretty well....I'm not smoking, Not drinking.

And I've gained to a personal high weight. 250.4 lbs. I couldn't even get my extra wide calf boots to zip up this morning.
Tomorrow morning I'm starting the 21 Day No Junk Food Challenge. I was going to start it on April 1st, but in light of my weight gain when I stepped on the scale this morning, I've decided to step it up to tomorrow morning.

I'm thinking that since I'm doing pretty much everything I can to lose weight and get healthy again, It has GOT to be weight gain due to menopause. Last year the doctor said I was in early stage......since then I haven't had a single flow in over 8 months. So as far as I can see, I'm in full Menopause Mode.

I'm miserable. I still have the symptoms of Aunt Flo's visit- but no actual bleeding. I hurt. OMG my joints hurt so badly I cry sometimes. I cant walk- my back spasms so badly I literally cant walk...and can barely stand. I'm tired all the time. Just walking down a flight of stairs and back up at work has me huffing and puffing so badly I cant hardly breathe. I have hot flushes- so bad I have a fan on my desk at work and have it blowing on me constantly all day long.  My entire body feels like it's made of lead. I'm miserable. absolutely miserable. I wake up 10 times a night and suffer from horrible nightmares when I do finally manage to get to sleep. I snore- so loudly my husband or I have taken to sleeping in separate bedrooms when we just cant deal with it anymore...so loudly I wake myself up and when I do in that split second I hear just how LOUDLY I do sound. I'm quite honestly surprised the neighbors haven't complained.

I try to stay positive...I smile and try as best I can to act like everything is fine and I'm doing well and even if they aren't - the will get better, surely. But it's getting more and more difficult to hide the pain. From my hubby, from my bezzie, (who is an inspiration in determination and perseverance)....from my family, from even my office mates and my boss. I think they see the deterioration more than anyone else because I'm around them more than any of the others.

I have a doctor appointment on Tuesday to discuss these issues.  I'm going to ask about HRT. Up til now I have avoided HRT because there is a history of |Cancer in our family and there has been studies that suggest women who have a history of cancer in their family and taking HRT can increase the chances of getting it.
My thoughts have been to avoid taking it....however- at this point, my quality of life is on such a low level I'm willing to try it despite the consequences. My thoughts now are more I'd rather take the CHANE of developing cancer in the future if I can improve my quality of life until that point- because to be perfectly honest- if I'm going to be in this much pain for the rest of my life off the HRT- ......... well, let's just say it would make me very sad to live like this for the rest of my life.

So the question is- Quantity vs. Quality. How do you choose?

A Reminder.

Yesterday I had an episode at work.
I had really bad pains in my chest, I felt nauseous, my jaw was throbbing, my left arm was tingling and I felt fuzzy...lightheaded-disoriented.
I went outside for a few minutes as I've had a couple of episodes like this before but not nearly as painful.
It eased up a bit- so I went back inside but then  a few minutes after going back in- it started up again.

I don't mind saying it scared the heck out of me. I got up and walked down to my husbands department- stopping a couple of times along the way because my chest was hurting so bad. I was almost crying by the time I got downstairs to my husband who took one look at me and when I said "I think I need to go to the A&E" - asked no questions but grabbed his coat and took me straight there.

They took me straight back for an EEG as soon as they heard my symptoms and then brought me back to a room on the other side for blood work. After that was done they said I would be there probably at least overnight unless the test results came back negative for a heart attack. By this time the chest pain had eased to about a 3 on the pain scale- every 45 minutes or so it would go up to a 5 or 6 and then after a few minutes go back to a 3. They decided to move me up to a ward for the duration of my stay with them. So up to the ward they rolled me and there I stayed . Getting stuck numerous times for all the different tests...going to have x-rays done- and numerous EEG and EKG.

There was another factor that raised my stress levels as well.....There was a patient in the ward who in my opinion should have been on the psyche ward. He was in a hospital gown, but roaming the wards. Every 10 minutes he would come walking into the ward, pulling back the privacy curtains and opening the bathroom(loo) /shower room doors. He even was yelling in a strange mixture of English/German at the patients who tried to stop him from looking in their personal belongings as well as the nurses who tried to get him back into his bed. There was a security officer in the ward because of his behaviour but there may as well have been no one there- that guard was sat with his ass glued to a chair and his eyes closed like he was napping every single time I went past him on my way to another test.
I mean come on- think about it- you are in a hospital bed, naked except for that useless piece of clothing they call a GOWN, and you have a nutcase walking around pulling open your privacy curtains and coming in and plundering in your clothes and handbags? I took numerous photos of him and his very offensive behavior and made my thoughts on the matter perfectly clear after a couple of hours being on pins and needles and seeing the terrified looks on every ones faces. I was hurting and stressed and in no mood to hold back  and I told the nurses and the doctors who came in that they needed to get him in a bed away from everyone because as for me- he was making my stress levels elevate immensely and if he came near me there was going to be trouble. He got past them a few more times, but after that they were more vigilant in keeping him out of my ward which I think the other patients(all MUCH older than me) appreciated. I still wasn't comfortable, but I was less stressed than I was.

Anyway, so there was one positive to the event. As I was having a suspected heart attack, the hospital is a University Research Hospital and one of the research teams was developing and testing a two machines that would cut the time of a heart attack diagnosis from 2 to 3 hours to a scant 20 minutes. They wanted me to participate and I agreed- mainly because there is a history of heart disease on both sides of my family. I think if they had had this technology when my grandparents were alive both of my grandmothers would have been with us much longer than they were. And if I can contribute to the development of a machine that can give a quicker diagnosis and let people be treated sooner thus ensuring a bigger chance of surviving a heart attack and reducing the damage to their heart- I'll do it. Gladly. Maybe it will save one of my children or grandchildrens or even great-grandchildrens lives in the future. Who knows?!

So that research testing was completed at 8:30 PM- when they took the last of the blood tests needed to determine if I had had a hear attack. That test also takes 3 hours to develop results so I decided to try and nap while I waited. I was physically and mentally exhausted at this point and they were still coming in every hour for blood pressure checks and  just as I was nodding off they would come wake me up to ask if I was okay...No rest at all.

At 1AM the doctor finally came in and told me the tests had come back and it had NOT been a heart attack. They wasn't quite sure what exactly it was but they referred to it as a "heart related incident".
 If I had to try and diagnose myself, I would say it's what my Granny Miller had been diagnosed with..... Angina.
 I couldn't remember the name of it yesterday when they were taking the medical history- because I was so fuzzy and disoriented, but I remembered what it was called this morning when I got up and I googled it. Exact same symptoms except I was just a bit disoriented as well.
 I have to go to my doctor on the 31st so we will discuss it then.

Any who...They said they would be releasing me in the morning- but said I could leave then if I had a way home or someone to pick me up. They said normally they would just wait- but there was a bed shortage and if I wanted, I could leave then. It seemed like it took them forever to get the paperwork done after that, but long story short I was home by 2AM. I relaxed and got a drink of diet soda before heading to bed in the spare room so as to not wake my sweet sleeping husband in the master bedroom. Bless his heart- he takes such good care of me when I'm hurting and it's such a blessing to have him by my side. He is the love of my life. With all that went on yesterday I didn't get to sleep until close to 4AM, so rather than go in to work and stress myself out by being exhausted. I took the day off. I thought about going in at noon, but I think the full days rest will do me more good and I can go in tomorrow rested and be more productive.

So I've been to bed and slept a few more hours. I'm going to shower and have a bit of a healthy lunch and then I'm going to nap for a couple MORE hours. It was seriously a very exhausting day and night.

Oh- and the doctors suggestions health wise?.....Stop smoking COMPLETELY(even my lovely e-cig) try not to get too stressed- .......and lost a bit of weight.

Well, Duh.

So this same thing  just less painful happened a few years ago while I was still in the states. And the doctor then told me the exact same thing. so Sh-it just got real- this was a reminder that I need to get myself  healthy again. 

Your Body has ways to let you KNOW if you just pay attention....and if you dont- THIS kind of thing happens.

Issues...

And here it is almost a month later and I'm just now posting.

I've not had the best of it the past few weeks..I have managed to lose about 3 and a half pounds, but that's about all I can say.

I'm constantly tired and when I TRY to go for walks my back goes into spasms so bad I have to stop and I CRY. Yes- it really does hurt that much.

I know something is wrong. I went to the doctor and they're doing tests. or I should say have done tests. I should know the results of the first one by mid week. Because of where the pain is- I'm guessing my kidney function is well out of whack. I have alternate bouts of constipation and diarrhea. I do have IBS but the only time it flares up is when I eat foods with whole seeds or chunks of nuts in it. This is a totally different kind of hurting.

For the time being, I have started taking a multi-vitamin  and a B-complex supplement every day. Ive been taking them a couple of weeks and I can actually tell a difference this week in my energy levels. Good- I hope it keeps up- but the back/kidney thing isn't being helped by it. Honestly, it's just made me more frustrated because now I FEEL I have enough energy to exercise, but when I try my back seizes up and the pain is unbearable. I've complained about it so much my husband just thinks I'm putting it on now. I get so mad when he does that- How can I be putting it on when I'm breaking into a sweat and CRYING from the pain- to the point I have to stop and lean up against a wall or a post or anything to keep me from collapsing?

It's frustrating because after 5 or 10 minutes- the pain stops and I'm able to go on for about two blocks before it returns, but it's like turning a faucet on and off...it's there full force or its not. No in between much- just on and off.

I hope I get this issue resolved soon. I really do.

A Rant......(Repost- But Still Relative 10 Years Later.....)

How the heck are we supposed to lose weight in our society?

Have you tried lately?

I try to eat healthily. I bake my fries- I usually broil or bake meats- I DO have a sweet tooth- but even with that I try to limit how much I indulge(only time I REALLY give in is a couple days before Aunt Flo visits- minimal damage).

But to try and eat in public is hopeless.

Order at a restaurant and you get enough food for two people. I know you can eat half and take the rest home- or leave it on the plate...but WHY? I don't like warmed over food from a restaurant. I also don't like to waste food when there are so many people starving in the world- and besides- I don't wanna pay 12 bucks for a half serving of food and leave the rest either. I work too hard for my money to waste it like that. And we could share a plate- but Paulius and I don't always want the same thing to eat when we go out- he tends to like spicy foods and I go for a more bland type food- I have an ulcer and spicy foods double me over when I eat them.

Why the hell can't the food industry just serve NORMAL portions and decrease the price a bit?
Everyone would be happier,(except maybe the 600 lb people who think all that food is GOOD for them and would absolutely STARVE if they weren't served enough to feed a small nation at every meal), not to mention healthier. Even if they DIDN'T decrease the price- it would still be better for us because a) we wouldn't be eating those mega portions and all the fat and calories that go with them and b) we wouldn't eat out as much because it would be so expensive to do so,(which is exactly the reason that they don't want to do the sensible thing like normal prices and portions-everything has to be bigger and better than the competetions).

I can't even watch TV anymore without being bombarded with commercial after commercial after COMMERCIAL about food- every where I look its there- and turning the sound down doesn't help either- I can still see the cheese oozing all hot and steaming from the pizza slice as it's served up. I can still see the creamy chocolate dripping from the spoon as the ice cream sundae is gobbled up. I can still see the blissful expressions on the faces of the people eating the stuff too- and even tho I know they are actors- they are DAMN GOOD actors because I honestly want to run out and get some of the creamy, chewy, owwey gooey goodness they are having while I'm watching.

And sodas- Why in the world do they sell those things in twenty oz bottles? First they sold the little 7 oz bottles which were PERFECT for a person- Just enough unless you were DYING of thirst and then you were better off drinking water to satisfy your thirst. Then they upped the dosage to 10 ozs. a bit more- but still okay. Then it went to 12 ozs. Too much. I have a can of soda and a third of it is usually left and wasted. Can't cap it- it's a can. Looses the fizz and tastes like CRAP. ...Then the 16 oz came along. And the 20 oz.....GREAT- for two people- but if you are single- or driving along alone- who needs it? 16 ozs is enough for 2 and a HALF servings. No wonder we are so freaking FAT in this nation. They began making those little 10 oz bottles again for a while- but finding them is like looking for a needle in a haystack- not everywhere will stock them. The two litres are fine if you are a family of six and the three litres are fine if you are having a party. But for normal people it's just TOO MUCH!! But we are tempted by the more is less pricing.

 Looks like I am going to have to give up watching TV and give up going out to eat at all as well to be healthy again.

It just ALL pisses me off.

It Doesn't Feel Like Work if You're Smiling.

Well, its been a crazy couple of weeks, but the results are interesting....

Ive downloaded a couple of videos(Zumba and Yoga) and have been doing them the past couple weeks.The frst week I lost another pound- but since then have been gaining til I'm back up to 17st 11lb.....But I think that's okay for now because I can see where my shape is changing a bit. I'm also a tiny bit more loose- as in flexable but I am achy in my joints and muscles- maybe from using them like I havent in quite a while??? Anyway, it's all good- and as it's dancing and stretching I'm REALLY enjoying it.


It doesn't really FEEL like it's work when you have a smile on your face!!! Right?

I've instigated a weight loss challenge at work running from 23rd FEb to April 1. We've had them before and first one worked well, but the others kind of fell flat....the other challengers would bring in treats to tempt the others to eat- and then we would all end up eating...me usually less than the others(all GUYS, I might add) but occasionally I would partake as well. It usually ended up me losing 10 or 15 lbs- and them losing two or three...in one case one of the guys actually GAINED 12 lbs!! (No willpower whatsoever-I tell ya!!)

Well, this time I upped the ante a bit.
I said this time that if COLLECTIVELY we lost 10 lbs for EACH participant I would bring in a FRED for each of us the Friday after the challenge ended.

One of the guys said that wasnt really fair- because that was a LOT of weight to lose. I said exactly- and because of it
1) we wouldnt be brininging in naughty food to try and tempt the others.
and
2)We would be trying to lose a bit MORE thyan our allotted 10 lbs to make up for the slack of another person if they didnt quite make it to their 10 lb goal.

They seemd to see the logic in that. Plus- they all like FRED.

What's Fred, you ask?

We also have a sandwich Swap every few months.... you make a sandwich, name it- and bring it in for lunch. then we write the name of our sammich on a slip of paper, then put it in a bowl/box/hat and we draw to see which sammich we get for Lunch. It's just something to do to try something new and be adventurous....out of the ordinary lunch we would normally have.

I named my Philly Cheese Steak sammich FRED. And those guys LOVE Fred.

So- as One of our participants said- I've upped the STAKESSteaks)... (Witty Guy!!)

And I haven't told them yet- but if we can make ONE POUND over HALF our goal, I'll bring in Freds anyway- Just for the effort!!!

More Progress...

Short n Sweet today.

Progress...17st 9 lb today.

As long as It's going down.

Results- and Progress....

Well,I'm happy as a  butterfly in a field of flowers...... Even after a VERY stressful week, I have managed to lose 1.25 lbs. I weighed in at 17st 10.25lbs.

After my last post- I weighed three days later and I had gained from 17st 7.5lb up to 17st 11.5lb.
Maybe it was fluid retention, maybe it was stress, I don't know- but I know I was almost in TEARS from the stress of that gain alone!!

Anyway, I didn't dwell on it- I just shrugged it off as  it is what it is and got up the next morning and  continued on. And it HAS paid off. It wasn't the loss I wanted or expected, but as I said- it has been a VERY stressful week.

I've taken Monday off work as a holiday, so I can watch the Superbowl tonight(it doesn't start until 11:30 PM here in England as it's live), and then I can sleep in tomm. OR I have it recording so I can watch it tomorrow morning while I'm doing my workouts. I'm doing extra ones tomorrow.

I've exactly 25 days til my Birthday and I want to be back down into the 16 stone range again by then.  I've got my house cleaned so I can totally do as much workout routines as I like tomorrow without feeling guilty about something I should be doing instead.

I've ordered me a couple of outfits too in a smaller size.

My Bezzie is out of town on a holiday this weekend, so we haven't been able to chat to each other, but I think I have done pretty good on my own. I have kept in my calorie range every day- even with  having a Double Cheeseburger at Burger King on Friday evening and having a couple of Snickers Ice Cream Bars yesterday. I'm a firm believer(especially in MY case) of if you have a craving, have whatever it is- occasionally allow yourself a bit of it. If I try to deny myself a treat every once in a while- I start obsessing about it and when I finally DO give in- I binge. And that defo isn't good.

Anyway, I'm on caloric track- still working on improving the types of food I eat to stay in Calorie Limit Range, drinking my water and doing my workouts. I wont give up. I refuse.

Vision Board

Well, for the past couple of weekends I've been working on a vision board for this year.

Now during the course of the two weeks, I've changed my mind about what I wanted to put in it several times and had to redo the entire concept.

I finally decided to put it at two main goals...
 Reaching my Goal weight & owning my own home.

This is what I came up with...

...in 6 months it may change- but for now- this is what I want more than anything!!!

I have already bought two outfits for my journey- and I own a sewing machine too so as I lose weight, I can alter them to still fit me.

Every time I lose  10 lbs, I'm treating myself to another of my outfits on my Vision Board.

And then me and my bezzie can go shoe shopping for the shoes I will want for them all.

Now Granted- one of the outfits(the lace up front jumpsuit) will never be worn in public, but I dont have to have it....It's gonna be enough that I know I COULD wear it with pride IF it was in my closet.
And when I reach my goal weight/measurements, my husband has offered to treat me to the leather outfit of my choice......pants and jacket- dress, boots......whatever I want.

THAT alone is reward enough for me!!!

Analysis and Repairation....

Okay...so I've looked over my bits and pieces of my days food for the past week or two.

Altho I'm staying well within the caloric perimeters, I have noticed two things....

1) I'm eating about half my calories in starches/carbs.

2) I'm only getting about 2/3  the water as I should be consuming on a daily basis.


I'm going to have to keep an eye on getting more water in me because, for me, not enough water means no weight loss or even a weight gain.

And I'm going to have to replace the carbs I'm consuming with eating more fruits and veg.

As for my calorie consumption.....I've been doing a high calorie day of 2000 calories, alternated with a low calorie day of 1200 calories. I don't think my activity level is enough to support a weight loss with these values in place....so I'm going to back it back down to 600-800 low cal days and 1200 high cal days.  That seemed to be when I was  having the best results.

No biggie.....sometimes you try to make a change for the better and it just doesnt work out. So you have a bit of a whing and then you go back to what was working for you. I gained a few pounds- but it's not so much I cant lose it again pretty quickly.

I have an awesome support system....My hubby is supporting me in my weight loss- my mother in law has joined me in the journey and is doing GREAT, and my Bezzie is in it with me standing shoulder to shoulder. Encouraging me to go on when I feel like quitting.... talking me thru the hard times- celebrating  nwith me when I have an awesome loss...or a teeny one...or none but lose inches. She's GREAT- the best thing ever is to have a steadfast Diet buddy and I hit the jackpot with my girl.

So it's onward and upward.

GoodBye 17st 7.5 lbs...Hello losing again!!!

Day 24

Weighed today... 17st 7.5 lb

I'm going to have to rethink my  eating stratedgy. Something has gone seriously wrong the past few days.

Post to follow when I get it thought thru.

2nd Weigh & Measure!!!! RESULTS!!!

Weigh and Measure Day.......

Jan 16th 2015.....
I also weighed and measured myself.
Weight-17 stone 3.5lb....241.5 lbs.
Bust-....48.5 inches  (I kept most of that, yay.)
Waist-...43 inches
Hips-....47.5 inches
Arms-...R-14 inches/L-14.25 inches
Thighs...R-27.5 inches/L-27 inches




Jan 1st 2015.......
I weighed and measured myself.
Weight-17 stone 4lb....242 lbs.
Bust-....49 inches  (I can keep most of that, please.)
Waist-...45 inches
Hips-....48 inches
Arms-...R-15 inches/L-14.5 inches
Thighs...R-29 inches/L-29 inches



OMG- its working. I haven't posted my food and all on here in a few days, but I HAVE been keeping up with it on paper all day- every day- RELIGIOUSLY. I'll start posting it again, too.

I really didnt have much hope for losing inches- but as you can see- thats what I lost the most of!! And best of all- I can see visible results of a bit flatter tummy too.
Amazing. I'm also doing a vision board this weekend- taking a suggestion from my Bezzie-Lisa.

My Weight & Measurement Goals ...
Weight- 10 to 10.5 stone....around 140-145 lbs (7st 4lb or 100 lb loss required)
Bust- 40-44 inches- not really bothered- but no less than 38 inches. (9 inch loss required)
Waist-27-29 inches....anything under 30 inches. (16-18 inch loss required)
Hips-38-40 inches. (8-10 inch loss required)
Arms-10-12 inches. (3-5 inch loss required)
Thighs- 16-18 inches. (11-13 inch loss required)

Thru the process, I've had one cheerleader who listened to my trials and triumphs...who reminded me that I COULD do it- who told me to put the cookie down and grab a grape instead.....who inspired me to keep it up when I just didn't feel like doing my workouts when I wanted  to just take a nap instead-and it worked. Read about her journey here........Thank You Lisa!!!! You have no idea how you inspire and encourage me-EVERYDAY!!!

I CAN -AND WILL-DO THIS!!!

Day 12

Regardless of how much weight I haven't lost- I have noticed a flattening of my tummy. RESULT!!
Very stressful day today- looks to be the same tomorrow. I will survive!!!

Now- on to the important stuff.....


 The 3W's- Workout- Watching the Caloric Intake-Water

Workout- 15 mins on cross trainer.

Brekkie-
*full sugar soda-(early morning blood sugar drop)-1can (139)
 Total Calories-139

Lunch-
* tuna, spinach, mayo salad (289)
Total Calories- 289

Snack- 
* coffee with non-dairy creamer & sugar (118)
Total Calories- 70

Snack- 
* 10 grapes (100)
  Total Calories-100

Supper-
* burger patty-no bun (208)
* chips (150)
Total Calories- 358

Water- *******


Calories For the Day- 956.
(Daily Intake-1000-1500)
Bit under- but not much. 

Day 11

I've done 7 loads of clothes today. Up and down, up and down, up and down......also 15 mins on the crosstrainer.

It's been an easy day, other than finding time to eat. That was kinda hard.



Now- on to the important stuff.....


 The 3W's- Workout- Watching the Caloric Intake-Water

Workout- 15 mins on cross trainer.

Brekkie-
* none
Total Calories-0

Lunch-
* slice 50/50 bread (103)
* 5 slices  thin slice deli turkey (40)
Total Calories- 143

Snack- 
* coffee with non-dairy creamer (70)
Total Calories- 70

Snack- 
* 2 sl. 50/50 bread (206)
* peanut butter (2 Tbsp) (188)
* 1 tbsp rasp jam (37)
* 1 cup skimm milk (122)
  Total Calories-553

Supper-
* 2 caramalized onion sausages (337)
* 1/2 cup pinto beans (143)
* 1/4 cup corn (42)
* chips (150)
Total Calories- 672

Water- *******


Calories For the Day- 1438.
(Daily Intake-1200-1500)....Spot On.(But Holy Cow that was a high calorie snack!!!)

Day 10-Weigh In Day

I had to shop for a pair of jeans today.  I found three pairs at the local TESCO of all places. I got a pair that was 44inch x 30 inches. REAL jeans. They didnt fit yet- a bit too tight.
I tried the second pair.....a size 20 stretch jeans- more like Jeggings. Not even close to fitting.
Usually by this time i'm disgusted with myself and starting to cry.
But today I was oddly detatched.
I put on the third pair....a size 22, but they fit...and they're made with a light enough material that as I lose weight I can take them up.
I was happy- I came away with a new pair of....Jeans......so to speak...and My Bezzie and I are planning a Girly Day of shopping, lunch and pampering around my Birthday the end of Feb- so that gives me about 6 weeks to lose a bit more weight.
All in all- it was a better than usual shoppiong trip!!!

Now- on to the important stuff.....


 The 3W's- Workout- Watching the Caloric Intake-Water

Workout- 15 mins on cross trainer.

Brekkie-
* none
Total Calories-

Lunch-
* salt n pepper chips   (150)
* chicken nuggets (3) (100)
* broccoli (1/2 cup)    (50)
* onion rings (4)        (100) 
Total Calories- 400

Snack- 
* coffee with sugar and non-dairy creamer (118)
Total Calories- 118

Snack- 
* cup of hot cocoa (250)

  Total Calories- 250

Supper-
* Chicken wrap (455)

Total Calories 455

Water- *******



Calories For the Day- 1223.
(Daily Intake-1200-1500)
Spot On. 

 I also weighed myself.
Weight-17 stone 4 lb....242 lbs. My beginning weight.
Not happy with that- but it will come off. Slowly and steadily. I'm NOT giving up. I WILL get this weight lost this year. It's my gift to myself.

Day 9

Yeah- I had a really bad day yesterday so I didn't post. I pretty much didnt do anything except eat and go to bed.  I had weighed and freaked OUT. I had GAINED 4 lbs according to my scale. Could be a lot of things tho......

Today I got up- still bummed and worked out on the crosstrainer. I refuse to call it an eliptical because it's not. The rotation on it is circular- not eliptical. And that makes it really hard on my back but I still get my butt on it and use it. Even tho I totally gave in to mindless eating and ate 5- yes 5- Quality street candies while I was watching my soaps because hubby kept saying hand me the choccies and then set them beside us. Habit- watch TV...munch on junk. I hid the choccies out of sight. Again.



 The 3W's- Workout- Watching the Calorie Intake-Water

Workout-
* Went up and down the 3 flights of stairs 4 times today. Walked to Tesco too...
 I decided to start weighing twice a week, Wednesdays and Saturday Mornings, but completely forgot to weigh theis morning before I left for work. Have made a note to myself to do so first thing tomm morning.


Brekkie-
* Grapes-(10) (100)
Total Calories-100

Lunch-
* Turkey and stuffing sammich(only half the bap) (250)
Total Calories-250

Snack- 
* deli thin slice smoked ham(5) (50)
  Total Calories-50

Snack- 
* cuppa hot cocoa with sugar and non dairy creamer (300)
* Quality street chocc(5) (220)
 Total Calories-520

Supper-
* Chicken Lombardi (250)
* chips (150)
Total Calories-400

Water- ******
Need to get a bit more water in me tomorrow.


Calories For the Day-1320. (Daily Intake-1200-1500) Spot On- even with the choccies.

Day 7

I did well today...not terribly stressed like I was yesterday, so good on that! Have been very careful to stick to plan today and done well. Walked on my own- hubby was busy at lunch and my back was absolutely killing me. I detest our office chairs. I mean REALLY detest them.


 The 3W's- Workout- Watching the Calorie Intake-Water

Workout-
* Went up and down the 3 flights of stairs 4 times today. Walked to Tesco too...
 I decided to start weighing twice a week, Wednesdays and Saturday Mornings, but completely forgot to weigh theis morning before I left for work. Have made a note to myself to do so first thing tomm morning.


Brekkie-
* Banana-(90)

Total Calories-90

Lunch-
* Spinach (1.5 cups) (20)
* Water Pack Tuna(1 can) (179)
* mayo(1 Tablespoon) (90)
*sprinkle of Lawreys Season salt (0)
  Total Calories-289

Snack- 
* quality street choc (2) 44each-(88)
  Total Calories-88

Snack- 
*cuppa with sugar and non dairy creamer (118)
 Total Calories-118

Supper-
* 2 pork steaks (280)
* 1 cup green beans (50)
* 1 cup mash potatoes (214)
Total Calories-544

Water- ******
Yay!! Done!!!

Calories For the Day-1247. (Daily Intake-1200-1500)- 
Low end, but done!!!


MUCH better than yesterday!!

Day 6

  I had a bit of a meltdown today. Really bad day at work where I started out playing catch-up from a bad day yesterday and then One thing right after another making it seem like a battle all day. The only saving grace was my walk to lunch with my sweet husband. Then the afternoon continued as a battle. When I got home- I just laid down on our bed and started crying...and cried...and cried until I fell asleep. That meant I slept a couple hours and then ended up cooking and eating well past my Closed Kitchen time of 6:30 PM. 
On the upside- tomorrow has to be better.
Now let's get to the business of finding out how much damage I did today with all the emo-eating. I have GOT to learn to overcome that habit.

 The 3W's- Workout- Watching the Calorie Intake-Water

Workout-
* Went up and down the 3 flights of stairs 4 times today. Walked to Tesco too...
 I decided to start weighing twice a week. Wednesdays and Saturday Mornings.

Brekkie-
*5 thin slices deli ham-10 cals each (50)
*1 Hot Dog Bun (252)
*Coffee (118)
Total Calories-420

Lunch-
*1.5 fishcakes (362)
*Chips (100)
Total Calories-462

Snack- 
*Reeces Pieces (225)
  Total Calories-225

Snack- 
*cuppa with sugar and non dairy creamer (118)
 Total Calories-118

Supper-
*slice gammon (169)
*2 eggs (186)
*2  croissants (544)
Total Calories-899

Water- ********
Yay!! Water check!!!

Calories For the Day-2124. (Daily Intake-1200-1500)- 
A VERY LOT OVER. Even my very top end 2000 calories for a celebration day I went over.

Oh well...what's done is done and tomorrow is another day I can do better on. Right?

Day 5

So, now I want to list a few GOALS for myself.
NON-scale goals.

I want to be able to wear my lovely Midi-coat. 
I desperately need a winter coat now- but I just cant bring myself to fork over a couple hundred quid for a winter coat that |I hate when  have a lovely stylish warm one here that all I have to do is lose a few pounds to fit into. If I do this right, I'll be able to fit into it before the cold weather is over this year! It's just really snug now.

I want to be able to wear my jeans again and  KNOW my butt looks good in them. 
What more is there to say about that? Nothing.

I want to be able to wear a swimsuit and sun by the pool on holiday. 
And NOT look like a beached albino whale. The last swinsuit I wore was a Venus Swinwear Thong Backed Hot pink and white print Bikini and it looked BANGING on me. And I was over 45 when I wore it. BOOOYA!

I want to be able to go on hikes again. 
HIKES- not strolls and not sounding like I'm a fish out of water or an asthmatic seal.

I want go out with my Bezzie and wear a bodycon dress for the holidays this year.
And I want to wear proper high heels with it. I also want to start dressing like I work in an ofice in proper office attire instead of the clothes I wear now with flats. I want to be a GIRL again.


  The 3W's- Workout- Watching the Calorie Intake-Water

Workout-
* Went up and down the 3 flights of stairs  4 times today. I'm hoping to get in a bit more of a workout with Jillian Michaels tonight before going to bed. I'm also contemplating weighing myself every Wednesday & Saturday Morning. Keep me more on track that way. I don't want to weigh every day- That's frustrating, but once a week may not be enough. If I'm veering off course, weighing twice a week I can adjust accordingly- maybe avoid the "failure to lose" frustration.

Brekkie-
*5 slices thin deli turkey(8 cals each slice)
Total Calories-40

Lunch-
*Chicken Pasta Bowl from Tesco(592)
Total Calories-592

Snack- 
*10 grapes(100)
 Total Calories-100

Snack- 
*cuppa with sugar and non dairy creamer(118)
 Total Calories-118

Supper-
* Cod Fillet(475)
*oven chips(178)  
Total Calories -653

Water- ********
Yay!! Water check!!!

Calories For the Day-1503. (Daily Intake-1200-1500)- 
A VERY FEW OVER.

Day 4

Today I slept in again. I still have a nagging headache and since I go back to work tomorrow I don't want it to morph into a migraine....and since Sunday is my workout free day- I slept until about 11 this morning.
I'm slowly learning my eating pattern since I started this during the holiday break from work when I could concentrate on just getting the eating and workout plan in gear.
I have  figured out that I don't eat when I'm hungry- I eat when it's "mealtime". I'm not sure how good that is. On the one hand I know I should eat regularly so my metabolism doesnt slow down even more- but on the other hand why should I eat and consume calories when I'm not even slightly hungry? Isn't that counter-productive? I need to discuss this with my weight loss buddy- but we are having a REALLY hard time finding a time we can both have a chat on the phone. We text- but I am so distracted by this and that when we text I can't keep my mind on the important things I need to talk about sometimes.


The 3W's- Workout- Watching the Calorie Intake-Water

Workout-
* No workout on Sundays....unless you count doing laundry- which I don't.

Brekkie-
*None
 Total Calories-0

Lunch-
*2 small baps(250)
* ground mince mini patties(slider size)(100)
*16 Pringles chips(150)
(I had Lunch past 1pm so it was more Brunch than Lunch per se.(Again))
Total Calories-500

Snack- 
*3 Celebrations chocolates(132)
* cuppa coffee with creamer and sugar (118)
 Total Calories-250

Supper-
*1 hot dog bun(256)
*1/2 hot dog weinie(128)
*Oven Fries(150)
Total Calories- 534

Water- ********
Yay!! Water check!!!

Calories For the Day-1284. (Daily Intake-1200-1500)- 
SPOT ON!

Day 3-Saturday- Weigh In Day

Today I slept in...I mean REALLY late- til noon! I had a headache and so didnt get up and do my normal routine. Instead I got up- poped a couple headache tablets- then headed into town with my hubby to do errands.

The 3W's- Workout- Watching the Calorie Intake-Water

Workout-
* No formal workout- just a mile or so walking around town then to the grocery store to do food shopping. Not exactly a vigorus workout- but all I was up to with a headache.

Brekkie-
*None
 Total Calories-0

Lunch-
*Cheese on toast
(I had Lunch at 1pm so it was more Brunch than Lunch per se.)
Total Calories-400

Snack- 
*slice of bread and teaspoon Nutella (1 tablespoon has 100 calories- I like it THIN spread)Total Calories-143

Supper-
Chicken goujons(3=208 cals)
Chips
home made honey mustard sauce
Total Calories- 982

Water- ********
Yay!! Water check!!!

Calories For the Day-1525. (Daily Intake-1200-1500)- 
A FEW over- but seeing as I've been WELL under since I started-it's all good.

 I also weighed myself.
Weight-17 stone 2 lb....240 lbs.
Lost two pounds since restarting the plan.

Day 2

Today was a breeze.......so far anyway.

I did the full routine again...

The 3W's- Workout- Watching the Calorie Intake-Water

Workout-
* Crosstrainer-15 minutes.
* Rearranged furniture and did a top to bottom clean of the house-4 hours and yes it was a VIGOROUS cleaning.

Brekkie-
1 slice toast
2 eggs
 Total Calories-243

Lunch-
None- had brekkie at 11am so it was more Brunch than brekkie.
Total Calories-0

Snack- 
None
Total Calories-0

Supper-
Salmon(100 grams)
Roasties(300 grams)
Broccoli sprinkled with 1 tablespoon parm cheese
Total Calories- 834

Water- ******(Still Need to get a bit more water in me tomorrow)

Calories For the Day-1086. (Daily Intake-1200-1500)

Hmmmmm.....I need to go find something else to get in me. I have to get a minimum of 1200 calories a day to do this healthily. Maybe a yogurt...Or a Banana.....

***(I had a banana(90 cals) AND a vanilla yogurt(98 cals)***
Calories For the Day-1274. (Daily Intake-1200-1500) ...Spot On!

KITCHEN DOOR CLOSES at 6:30 PM!!!

2015-The beginning Of The End-Weigh & Measure

Okay- so today I did the full routine...

The 3W's- Workout- Watching the Calorie Intake-Water

Workout-
* Crosstrainer 15 minutes. (still working on the playlist for my workouts but I prob won't list them on here  because I want this logging to be as painless and quick as possible. If it feels like a chore I wont stick with it.)
* Taking down Christmas decor and packing away- 3 hours
(Yes- if you saw how many of those I had you would consider it a workout too albeit a drawn out one.)

Brekkie-
1 Banana
Coffee
Total Calories-150

Lunch-
1 can tuna(in water)
1 teaspoon mayo
2 cups fresh baby spinich
Total Calories-300

Snack- 
10 grapes

Total Calories-35

Supper-
Dominos Chicken Strips Combo
Total Calories- 798

Water- **** (Need to get more water in me tomorrow)

Total Calories For the Day-1283. (Daily Intake-1200-1500)

KITCHEN DOOR CLOSES at 6:30 PM!!! 

I also weighed and measured myself.
Weight-17 stone 4lb....242 lbs.
Bust-....49 inches  (I can keep most of that, please.)
Waist-...45 inches
Hips-....48 inches
Arms-...R-15 inches/L-14.5 inches
Thighs...R-29 inches/L-29 inches

My THIGHS are the size my waist should be. 
So that was my first day.....The Beginning of the End.